October 9th, 2009
about this video
How BIG do you want to live? from Kate Swoboda on Vimeo.
Note: To have an uninterrupted experience, you might want to press “Play,” then press “pause” and let the video download all the way before pressing “play” again.
So, truly, my aim with having an online journal is not to talk incessantly about workshops and retreats. The thing is, it’s on my brain lately (which is why it’s been really great for me to take time off from the computer on the weekends).
Please forgive me–I beg of you. I can only offer up that for the first time in my life, I am doing something that I really feel passionate about, that I really feel called to do, and this feeling is kind of like a low-grade “high,” a constant buzz of excitement/giddy stuff in the background. I’m feeling so full of inspiration and ideas and I’m having so much fun with what I’m creating.
A new retreat date has been confirmed: April 16-18, 2010 in San Francisco, CA!
To see what signing up looks like, go here: http://www.yourcourageouslife.com/retreats.html
The video above is one that I originally made with the intention of showing people interested in the retreat what the area would look like. The house I’m renting is on the Marin Headlands Hostel property, and it’s gorgeous. Hardwood floors, a curved staircase, an entire dining area for us to eat in and make art in, a cozy living room with plush couches and chairs to sink into, the smell of cedar and eucalyptus trees all around. The house that you see pictures of in this video is our house.
The beachfront, which I put both video and a picture of in this video, is only a 20-minute walk from the house. The air smells so fresh and pure. It’s amazing.
I have been thinking lately that it seems to me that everything in my life up to this point was a preparation for this point, even though I could not have seen it at the time. But now I do–I sat down to make this video, and I had so, so many years worth of photographs from which I could choose…so many sunsets…so many pictures that signified friendship…so many pictures that said “beauty”…photographs of San Francisco. It was all just there, waiting to be pulled together into this one video made on this one day. I have wanted to do something with retreats, have wanted to do an e-course, have wanted to be a full-time coach–all of this wanting, and it seems to me that now was the right time. It even seems to me that the choices I made that lead up to this decision were perfect–for instance, I took on an extra course this semester when it was offered to me at the last minute, and as soon as the first day arrived I was cursing this decision. Why did I take on the extra course? Why didn’t I just teach two classes, so I’d have less going on?
But this, too, was perfect just as it was. It pushed me to a new point of burnout–and subsequently, of clarity–that then pushed me to ask what wasn’t working and then to be willing to grow and step towards something that was working.
And with Mondo Beyondo, and the inspiration that came from that? Some friends of ours were having a going away party, and dear Laurie Wagner was there, and she was telling me about being excited for the course to start. I felt this pang of envy, like, “Darn! I missed out on that!” and then I was moved to email Andrea and ask if I could get in on this last-minute. She agreed (thank you!) and it was a great experience…which lead to meeting other people who have been helping me along the way.
There is a sense of the continuum, of it all just being right for right now. Sometimes with this energy and inspiration I notice myself going into a space of wanting to do one more thing, then one more thing, then another, and it’s really great to keep stepping back from that…
…because this train is rolling, baby. It’s off. It has started. I gave it a push and now I can give myself the gift of not lashing lashing lashing out of fear. Instead, I just get to enjoy the ride.
**Popping back into just tell all of you how completely blessed I feel in this moment to have friends who would say this, and to share the love by saying what an amazing, true, heartfelt person I think Vivienne is…she is all soul!
