November 8th, 2009
the happy place
I am soooo in my happy place right now. It looks something like this:
I am away from home (traveling).
In a hotel room (not a hostel or staying as a guest with obligations).
I have absolutely no agenda whatsoever.
Even the bad version of a “caffe latte” served up by the hotel lobby isn’t enough to sway my mood when I fully embrace the deliciousness of just having nothing that I need to do. Last night, I indulged in a Big Mac for dinner (mmmm, love those–only allow myself to eat them when I’m traveling, however, due to the imperial and environmental impacts of that company) and then I sat in my hotel room and watched The Biggest Loser (aaahhhh, trashy reality television) via the internet before heading out to CORE, the show that was produced by Anne Carmack and had contributors such as my lovely friends Christine Mason Miller and Pixie Campbell.
To some, this might sound like the height of loser-dom. I don’t care. To me, being able to get completely and totally away from teaching, starting a new career, and boxes to be unpacked and the umpteenth new item of furniture to be purchased, and to just marinate in a hotel room somewhere with nothing that I have TO DO is incredibly lovely.
I am thinking as I write that in fact, it would probably be really good for me to just take a day to do something like this once a month–it would probably be good for everyone to do this. I was thinking about how I cite not wanting to spend the money or not having the time as reasons not to do it, and how in fact there are inexpensive ways of taking a retreat like this. I was thinking about how when I say I don’t have the time, something’s wrong with that. To say I don’t have the time already means that too much is going on.
I’m not getting down on myself, here–after all, moving takes time. Changing careers takes time. These are not lifestyles; these are temporary demands that do lessen once the boxes are unpacked or once the former job is no longer requiring my time and attention, thus allowing me to put my attention fully on the new path.
The common thread in all of this is paying attention–noticing. I don’t believe that there is a set way to permanently, never-again find challenges around managing time (or money, or relationships, or anything else). What I do believe is that there’s a valuable skill in developing the ability to notice–to feel tightening or constriction in my body, to feel that relaxing when I give myself the gift of nothing to do. Creating that space will allow me the ability to both live better and do more of the things I want to do, in the long run.
Mmmm…time to see what other junk is on the television. Perhaps later today I’ll add in finding a museum or visiting Little Tokyo. For now: rest.
