July 6th, 2010
still just as sweet
So I did this kind of nutty thing about six weeks ago: I stopped eating refined sugar.
I started this little experiment because for the longest time ever, I’ve felt as though something was “off” with my body. Just generally, lots of achiness. Tiredness. And the dogged and persistent acne–good grief. It is embarrassing to still be breaking out in your thirties. Ridiculous. I’ve been on every pill, every medication. It’s not hormonal. My bloodwork is fine. Like everyone else, I could stand to lead a more Om Namah Shivayah kind of life, but frankly, I don’t think self-care is exactly my weak spot. Are we forgetting that I spent last summer in Italy? I’ve tried letting go of dairy. Wheat. I’ve been on a raw foods diet (an experiment I can’t imagine I’d ever take up again, not because it doesn’t work but because good golly, I simply can’t spend that much of my life planning meals).
So I decided I’d try the one thing I’d never, ever tried before: letting go of refined sugar.
Now I commence with telling you that I finally understand the true nature of addiction.
Speaking of this, as part of my sugar detox, I was not doing honey, either–or agave nectar (which I’ve since learned through various and sundry research, agave is not actually this all-natural superfood, and it’s terribly environmentally offensive because most agave is grown in Mexico and then trucked/flown thousands of miles away to the United States). For fourteen days, I had zero refined sugar, and no foods that spike insulin levels when the body converted it to sugar–such as anything with flour in it. No wine. When I shared this with my dear friend Margo, over lunch (salad for me…) she said: “Oh my god. What do you eat?”
Answer: Lots of things. Carrots with hummus. Brown rice and lentil soup. Lots of steamed greens. Quinoa–oh, I looove quinoa. Cashews. Dried apricots. Canned fruit (in pear juice and water, not high-fructose corn syrup). Steamed kale. This really great wild rice casserole inspired by Andy’s sister–sautee some onions in garlic and then toss with wild rice, chopped black olives, and chopped (steamed) green beans. Sooo good.
I was doing a great job with the no sugar thing–couldn’t have even really said that I missed it–until Day Six. Some switch flipped on Day Six and suddenly it was like, “Where’s the sugar? Where? Where could I find me some sugar, honey?” Thus commenced a rather terse couple of days. Mood swings? Check. New acne breakout? Check. Tired and cranky? Check. There was one day when Andy made an offhand comment about cupcakes, something like, “Oh, cupcakes sound good,” and I felt this lift in my mood as I thought of how–YES!–a cupcake would be delicious. Why not have some? And then I remembered that I was off sugar and my mood just fell in about 1.3 seconds flat and tears sprang to my eyes because a cupcake sounded so tasty, and so good, and so fantastic, and I was not having any and life just felt unfair.
But I made it through the fourteen days–the limit I’d given myself for detoxing sugar from my body. I no longer craved it. I was feeling great. I hadn’t lost weight but I had noticed that (probably due to lack of carbs) I was looking pretty muscular, or “cut up” as they say. I had a ton more energy. My acne was clearing. I switched over to organic, all natural cleansers and noticed that my skin was still clearing (which is great, because sometimes even with really strong stuff it would be resistant). I felt more grounded in my skin.
And then. Then I decided I’d try having some sugar. What I noticed: that even small quantities of sugar felt as if I’d just eaten five baklavah. Also, even small quantities of sugar would bring on epic headaches, maybe even some feelings of nausea, and–curiously–a crash in which I feel slightly depressed.
And, those small quantities of sugar? They made me crave more. This is why I say I now understand the nature of addiction. I really believed that if I were to detox the sugar out of my system and get to a point where I was no longer craving it (and I did reach that point), then I’d be cured. Done. I could have small bits of refined sugar here and there, and it wouldn’t matter.
Sadly, no this is not how it works. The little sugar addiction receptors in the brain start bargaining and calculating the way they did when I was on Day Six, looking around, wondering if there were any way that I could push this no sugar thing just a bit and still be keeping my commitment to myself. Which is how I now find myself in the curious predicament of wanting all of the lovely benefits of not having refined sugar–all of that energy! waking up in the morning feeling alert! not crashing in the afternoon! feeling really chill and calm! muscles! –while simultaneously craving it and thinking about it. The other day I was at a party where someone sliced a cake. I noticed myself eyeing the cake on the plate of the person in front of me, watching as bites traveled from plate to mouth.
I mean, Jimminy. Come on.
I was in the midst of my detox when I found this article written by Havi, and now’s the part where I quote from her:
I don’t often mention the no-sugar thing. Or the no-caffeine thing. Because it’s been my experience that — when it comes up — people tend to think that I’m secretly implying that they should do it too.
So let me state as clearly as I can:
The choices I make in my life are only about my life. You can totally drink coffee and eat cookies all day and I will love you just the same.Seriously. I could not care less.
Whatever guilt or “shoulds” come up for you, they’re not coming from me. I’m sorry if talking about stuff that goes on in my life makes you feel uncomfortable about stuff going on in yours. That is never my intention.
People vary. What might be poisonous to me could be completely harmless — or even beneficial — for you.
I am not interested in being an evangelist. “You” just the way you are right now? Fine by me. I promise.
I feel exactly the same way–big love for anyone reading this, and I’ll support your choices that support you. Swearsies. But I am sharing about my process here, because I’m realizing that if I keep trying to tempt the Sugar Monster, bargaining, swearing I’ll just have a little bit and then I’ll quit tomorrow, I’m going to lose. There is a reason why 12-step programs have you give up trying to have control, first thing. I get it, now.
Ugh. I’m posting here because deep down, I want to be all accountable and stuff, and Numero Uno way to be accountable for me is post it on my blog. Enough people read it and then say later, “So whatever happened with…?” that it is an effective integrity check. I’m also sharing that right now, I’m in the middle of my process rather than on the other side of it, and I’m feeling whiny and icky and all of the Resistance is coming up. It is not attractive.
So I’m saying it: I think it’s time to quit sugar. For reals. And honestly? That sort of scares me. It sort of drives all of these buzzy, annoyed nerve impulses down my spine. Whaddya mean, we gotta quit sugar? It’s not just an experiment?
But for reals–For me, I think it’s time. During the weeks when I had no refined sugar, I had the lovely feeling of being grounded and energetic and healthy that I’ve been looking for. I want that back.
Okay, now I’ll also take another tip from Havi. She has this thing called “Comment Zen.” It’s basically her sharing what she hopes to see in the comments and what she doesn’t want to see. So I’ll share a bit of Comment Zen: My vision would be that we’d share support, tips for getting off the sugar bandwagon, resources–and not “Oh, but how can you give up brownies?”
I’m also going to assign myself a check-in–something to check-in on one month from now, in which I follow up. I’m even going to put it in my little iCal and set it to ding at me so that I’ll remember. And if you want to support the cause by dinging in on August 6th, please feel free to pop back in.
July 7th, 2010 at 10:35 am
Thanks for sharing this! It is a topic I am very interested in as I am considering a cleanse. It is such an intense decision at first – SUGAR IS EVERYWHERE. Though once your wrap your head around it – it’s completely doable. I am cheering you on!
July 7th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
You know what? Your blog is called courageous living..and in sharing this story with us you are inspiring us to be accountable for our actions..to know our truth and stand by that truth..if your dream is to be healthy without sugar..than you go girl!! If you are afraid, that is because the change you are making is so ultra different that it brings you out of your comfort zone..courageous indeed!
July 7th, 2010 at 2:35 pm
i decided to do this very same thing a few months ago. it is challenging yet feels great! i applaud you! it is amazing how sugar is in everything, too. i opened up a can of 3-bean salad, ate a bit of it, then decided i better read the ingredients because it tasted a bit sweeter than it seemed like it should. yep. sugar, right there on the can! how can they put sugar in our veggies?! grrr!!! made angry. stay strong, you can do it!!
July 8th, 2010 at 7:46 am
Good luck with this! I think its a really great thing to go for.
I was eating a bowl of plain strawberries last night in contrast to my usual approach of adding cream, or yoghurt, or ice-cream, or dark chocolate etc – and I caught myself feeling surprised by how beautful, sweet and delicious they were. I was thinking of your post and I think eating mindfully is a great way to approach food. Those strawberries really felt like a treat because I paid attention to their gorgeousness instead of smothering them in more stuff. And putting food in pretty plates and presenting it nicely always makes it feel special. Isn’t that the thing with sweet stuff – its a treat, a comfort? Maybe making the treats out of something non-sugary can work too if we think about them differently.
While you’re going for the no-sugar month, I think I’ll also set myself a little “mindful eating month” challenge. See you on the other side!
July 8th, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Wow, this really confirms a lot of the stuff I’ve thought happens with sugar. I’ve never consciously avoided it but I have gone for periods where i just kind of forget to eat it then someone offers me some chocolate or something and – bam! Can’t get enough of it. I really want to try this too.
What other foods did you avoid beside flour and wine?
July 8th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Thank you guys all so very much for the supportive comments! Sugar really is in so many things, especially things one wouldn’t expect it to be in.
@kathryn, I’m basically just avoiding refined sugar and high fructose corn syrup, white flour, white rice (basmati is okay), and alcohol.
By the way, I feel compelled to add something my wise holistic health counselor friend Valerie (www.valerietookes.com) shared: that she tends to use the word “avoid” with her food choices, because then it does allow her the flexibility to have certain things every once in awhile, and it brings up less resistance. I thought this was a wonderfully wise perspective.
July 8th, 2010 at 9:17 pm
Good luck to you! I hope you feel better and better each day. I’m sure that as you go along, it will get easier. Thanks for posting your thoughts about this. It gives me something to think about too!
July 12th, 2010 at 11:46 am
Kate, you’re so inspiring and I totally want to try this. I might be knocking down your door, begging for recipe help and support…because man, I love sugar. But you’re about the millionth person who has written so eloquently about what it’s been like to NOT have it and how much better life feels. It’s inspiring.
July 12th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Dear Kate, you are a big picture kind of person, so I know you can do this! I don’t drink alcohol, and have mostly been a non-drinker for the last fifteen years. I think it’s definitely easier when you are living consciously and being fully aware of the reasons why you are making these choices. It’s the problems my mother has with alcohol that has scared me off the stuff; but there are so many other benefits, too; enough for me to feel ok about my choice when confronted with strange looks and intrusive questions from others. I know that, when faced with a personal sugar challenge, that you will also try to come back to the present moment and be aware of your choice and why you are making it.
July 12th, 2010 at 7:12 pm
I’ve been without refined sugar for a few days now, and it is both easier and harder than I thought. Easier because I am craving things much less and seem less hungry in general, and harder because sugar is in EVERYTHING! I’m glad to hear that it is going well for you, and that I am not alone!
July 12th, 2010 at 9:18 pm
You can do it!!!!
July 13th, 2010 at 12:07 am
Hi Kates .. a brave thing to do .. but wonderful you’ve succeeded, realised the benefits and are going to continue. Fortunately I’ve kicked those habits years ago .. occasionally I’ll feel the urge – but usually it passes.
I love the thoughts for recipes you’ve given up above .. makes so much sense .. working out what suits our own bodies and not following others, or doing the expected norm, just makes so much more sense – we feel better.
Thanks .. keep going .. all the best Hilary
July 13th, 2010 at 5:03 am
[...] diet, thinking that once I found it I would have boundless energy and no stress. Just recently, I started avoiding refined sugar and I feel so much better, but of course what really brings a quality of calm to my day is how [...]
July 20th, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Hi Kate ~ Little late getting to this, sorry.
I have such an addictive personality so quitting sugar was hard for me. I started by adding things like blueberries into salads, and now I just use stevia if I want something like sweetened tea. I still get the urge to eat it though, much like I stlll get the urge to smoke, 9 years after quitting. I guess it’s because I still drink wine etc, which likely unbalances my body. As you say, we have to find a sweet spot (no pun intended!) for our individual selves.
Looking forward to your next update and I hope it all goes well!
August 5th, 2010 at 5:02 am
[...] Okay, so. As promised, I need to update all y’all on the sugar thing. [...]
August 31st, 2010 at 10:46 pm
[...] annoying at least and debilitating at most. Kate Swoboda wrote a great account on her blog of her withdrawals from sugar and it’s an eye-opening [...]
September 1st, 2010 at 12:48 pm
So, how’s that sugar thing going for you?
I ask because I”m on day6 without it myself. I’m doing surprisingly well. I have not gone off honey or anything but cane/beet sugar and HFCS, however. And I’ve cheated a bit because my Endangered Species dark chocolate has sugar, but as soon as it’s gone, I have sources for sugar free chocolate. I DO have tons of energy, and I’ve found my appetite is regulating. When I’m hungry, I’m actually hungry, but not RAVENOUS. Just hungry. And I don’t feel munchy anymore; if I’m hungry then I am, and if I’m not, then I’m not. It’s great.
I’ll be posting on my blog tomorrow about why I went off sugar, and what I hope to accomplish from it. It’s less about going off sugar, and more about my teeth, but if you’re interested, check it out.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:08 pm
What a great idea! I remember going off sugar when I was a teenager, and feeling so much better and not getting headaches. And later in my 20′s I did it again. Why did I go back? I don’t know, maybe it’s just to hard to escape it?
I totally know what you mean about the addiction thing. Several years ago I realized I was “possessed” by the sugar demon. I would put the cookies away and walk away. A half hour later I’d realize I’d eaten the whole package. As if a foreign entity was in control. Probably the systemic candida was calling the shots!
But then I discovered raw milk. I loved it so much I decided to eat nothing but raw milk every day. I got about 5 gallons a week and drank it all, every drop. That’s all I wanted at the time. I finally got kinda tired of it after several weeks and made some bone broth soup, then added vegetables, and so forth, until I was back on my normal healthy diet. But what a change!!! No more sugar demon! No craving at all for sugar! Freedom!
I thought I was totally cured of the sugar demon, but then a couple of years later I discovered iodine tablets (Iodoral). I was so deficient in iodine that I could hardly get enough. They were like candy to me, so I started just taking them all day long. For a while I was taking 10-15 per day. Iodine clears out yeast, among many other interesting things.
Then I finally got caught up on iodine. But what a change!!! After a week of high doses of iodine, I couldn’t eat sweet stuff without feeling gaggy. I totally didn’t enjoy anything sweet anymore. I wanted something sour, savory, bitter, spicy, or salty, not sweet! Buttered carrots and raspberries were way sweet all of a sudden. Honey was just too much. Even the raw milk was sweet. Lettuce leaves were saccharine. My jars of sugar have languished nearly un-used on the shelf now for years, yet I feel that I eat a very sweet diet.
I think it’s great that you are listening to your body so closely and trying out new things and living to tell the tale. Who would have thought that quitting sugar could have such profound effects!