10 Things You Actually Don’t Need in Order To Be Successful

All of these things are great, but they’re not the be-all-end-all of success, living well, or making your dreams happen. So here are ten things you actually don’t need in order to be successful (with success being defined in whatever way you choose):

1.) An organized desk. “My desk is so disorganized,” someone says, as if that’s what keeps them from any hope of seeing their dreams come true. But I think that the hyper-organized types in our society are few and far between. With those few exceptions, the idea that organization is tantamount to success is something that people use as a delay tactic to get started. And the grief so many of us give ourselves because we aren’t “more organized?” Goodness. Let’s just save that energy for something else.

2.) A specific, step-by-step plan. I believe in specifics, and I even believe in step-by-steps and plans. But if there’s too much rigid attachment to the step-by-step, lovely diversions along the way can be missed. Far better to go by instinct. Learn the art of following your inner YES.

3.) Schedules. I’ve been interviewing people for Across Mediums, and one question I keep putting into these interviews is how they make time for artmaking and creativity. I’ve been asking this because I consider myself to be someone recovering from the land of “if you’re serious about something, you make a schedule.” I have a theory that this emphasis/pressure on scheduling our lives down to the minute as a measure of discipline or aptitude has something to do with school and how we did math at 10:00 followed by reading at 11:00 followed by lunch at noon and…you know, it’s taken me years to stop eating at noon just because it was noon, and start eating when I was actually hungry.

4.) A perfectly clean diet. Good grief, the energy I’ve put into finding the perfect diet, thinking that once I found it I would have boundless energy and no stress. Just recently, I started avoiding refined sugar and I feel so much better, but of course what really brings a quality of calm to my day is how present I am in it, and whether or not I’m making a choice to be passionate about whatever it is that’s right before me.

5.) A private office. I love my office. It’s yellow and beautiful. But I spend a fair amount of time writing at my local library, and if I spend too much time in here, I start to feel nuts. In fact, a home office makes self-care harder–because there’s always that thought, “Oh, I could head in there and get this or that done…”

6.) A meditation practice. Meditation is great, but presence is better. Noticing is better. Watching those judgements and opinions and where they create drama and disconnection in your life–all better. Meditation is a great vehicle for learning how to get good at the noticing and watching, but if you’re not making the time for it each day, far better to funnel the energy of beating yourself up into just noticing, watching, and being conscious about your choices.

7.) To work for yourself. There are so many people out there who have great 9-5 jobs and then they do something more creative in a freelance capacity, or not for any money at all, but just for themselves. Your life is a success because you say it is–because you claim your choices and are behind them. Working for someone else is not tyranny (unless you say so). Your life is not a success because you are the next “I quit my job and followed my dreams” poster child on the internet. (If you are that poster child, that’s great–I totally support you. I just don’t believe that it’s what works for all people, and want to support those who are feeling stuck with the Story that they have to quit their job in order to do what they love).

8.) A lot of money. The quality of our lives depends more on how we claim our lives and our choices than it does on the money. Next time you’re worrying about money, consider asking yourself where in your life you aren’t “behind” your recent financial choices. What financial decisions have you made lately that you have a nagging feeling about? Which ones didn’t feel really great to make? Cut those out of your life, and you cut out a lot of the pressure to come up with a lot of money.

9.) To live an esoteric existence. I don’t like the emphasis people put on material things. I’m all about sustainability. I support people who make choices to have few or no possessions if that’s a match for them. I even agree that saving money in all of those areas means more money available, and that this causes less financial stress. However–every choice we have has its flip side. For instance, Andy and I chose to rent our own, stand-alone house. We’re paying more rent this year than we have in years past, at a time when the economy sucks. Of course–We could save money by living in the places we’ve lived in in the past, with shared walls. But then there was stress in other areas–like when the neighbors blasted their music during the day, or woke us in the middle of the night. I like books, comfy chairs to read them in, and chai. I feel more financial stress making things work with this home, but my home is one that I genuinely enjoy being in, so it’s worth it to me to do what it takes to pull in a bit more rent money. In essence, let’s strike a balance between excess and minimalism.

10.) Constant internal monitoring. The inner critic/Ego/fear-based self, whatever you want to call it, that lurks within? Let’s soften that. Let’s have some gentleness. Let’s sink into the choices we make and get behind them, and then accept that some people will look at those choices and write a blog post on “10 Things You’re Not Doing That You Should Be Doing” and maybe those 10 things will be “Get organized!” and “Make a Plan!” and “Set a Schedule” and “Eat Right!” and all of those things. You get to decide what resonates with you, which of them will be necessary for making your life workable.

What would you add to this list? What’s something that you feel you’ve been oft-told is necessary for success (any kind, whether entreprenuerial or otherwise) and really, it wasn’t absolutely necessary?