Your Courageous Life

Courageous Year Interview: Sandra Flear

(The Courageous Year was an e-course that I ran during the entire year of 2010. Later, I would parlay the content of that course into The Courageous Living Guide, which you can check out here!).

1.) Name: Sandra Flear
Location (City/State): Toronto, ON
Website: www.write-sandra-write.blogspot.com
Occupation: Somatic therapist/writer

2.) When you started the Courageous Year, what did you decide would be the focus of that year? Has it shifted or changed?

I wanted to focus on creating community, getting my finances in order, and becoming more fit. It did shift – I shifted getting fit to becoming healthier (I’ve had some health issues), and creating community to include welcoming the possibility of a new partner into my life. Yay!

3.) I believe that each of us has our own idea of what “courageous living” is about. When you hear the term “courageous living,” what do you think of? And how does that term apply to your own life?

Courageous living sounds like fun. It makes me think of my most fearless and colourful self feeling excited about her life, smiling and jumping up and down. My idea of it is of me going after what I dream about, learning, and changing along the way. How it can apply to my life is in inspiring me to stay hopeful and pro-active. I am inspired by other people attempting to live “big” and courageously. Being a part of a community who are “big” makes it feel more possible.

4.) One of the first things that the Courageous Year taps into is the concept of BEing your journey, allowing all parts of your journey to exist rather than trying to push away the things that we’re less comfortable with. What’s an example of some way in which you’ve seen yourself work with a situation that was frustrating, uncomfortable, scary, or otherwise “not your favorite,” and then work through it while BEing your journey?

I have a few situations in my life that are not, really not, what I’d like them to be. Health problems, some family relationships, and having been single for a long time are not my favourite parts of my life. I still feel so frickin’ excited and in love with myself and my life though. I take great pleasure in it at times. At other times, not. But I feel sustained by something that I associate with just “being”, or the energy of life, or a calmness underneath everything, and this helps me get through the “yucky stuff”. I don’t always get through it without despairing, and certainly not without screaming and crying some, but I (mostly, eventually) can allow all parts to be there because I like just “being”. This is what comes to my mind when you ask this question. How I work with these situations is through waiting, wondering, working, crying, raging, learning, and hopefully, shifting them over time. I’ve only ever been able to change big things through tiny steps taken over long periods of time, but if anyone knows how to do it faster, let me know!

5.) You’ve told us a bit about who you BE, now tell us a bit about what you do! Feel free to share not just about a profession that “pays the bills,” but also about a chosen profession—the work that you’re most excited about.

I am a somatic therapist in private practice. I can hardly believe that I work for myself and make (sorta) enough money to live on. I feel very fortunate to be able to work on my own flexible schedule doing what I like to do. I am excited about being able to continue to expand my practice to work in the way I dream of. I have changed it quite a bit in the last couple of years already, to include more mindfulness-based somatic work, which has been very helpful for my clients, and much more enjoyable for me. Now I want to start to include movement, drama, and spontaneous play in my work. I want to be able to become very skilled at supporting people in their most vulnerable states and in helping them unleash into their spontaneous and wild selves as well. I think we have very big selves inside us, and it is easier to fully inhabit them if we can use our bodies and imaginations. I want to be able to work with what is underneath our verbal and cognitive selves, to the more free-flowing imaginative self with all its impulses, however they may be, and work with them more experientially and directly. I also want to be able to incorporate more of myself into my work with people – consciously using what is happening for me in the session, related to what is moving/processing within my clients.

6.) What are you most passionate about, what excites you, lately?

For myself, the ability to be able to, as Arnold Mindell, founder of Process Work, describes, allow the (my) body “to flow”. What that means is that I want to be able to let go of control of my experience/body more, and allow myself to follow/be with my spontaneous urges/experiences intelligently and freely. Be more open to things as they, and flow with them. To be able to do this most of the time is my most deeply held life goal.

I am also very excited about bringing more art and beauty into my life. Also, more colour. All of what that will look like, I’m not sure yet. I am also loving my singing and movement classes, and participating in any kind of art/writing/movement/improvisation within groups. That is my most favourite thing to do right now.

7.) What’s next on your horizon?

I am going to do a certificate in Process Work, which is an offshoot of Jungian psychology, and includes somatic, spiritual and expressive arts aspects. I am very excited about it. I’m also going to write more. Maybe even start a blog, which I’ve been, frankly, terrified of, for fear of being found not beautiful enough. I know, I know, do it anyway, and I have had blogs before, but I seem to be working up to something new this time. Something I put more of myself into. Other than that, I’m not sure. I don’t know if the longing I have for more beauty means I will try my hand at painting or some other form of creating, or what it may mean, but there is something important there for me. Also, I’d love to travel more. That is also calling. I am hoping that my life is going to look significantly different than it does right now by next year. I have a feeling some real shifts are ready to happen. Thanks for the opportunity to share!