the sugar update

Okay, so. As promised, I need to update all y’all on the sugar thing.

In the past month, I had two cookies.

Let’s just get that out of the way, right now.

Other than that, it’s been really rocking out fan-freaking-tastic.

No, wait.

There is one other thing.

I am having, like, the worst acne breakout of my entire life. It really blows. I’m drinking a ton of water, and doing castor oil hot packs, and eating veggies, and really just doing this whole “Have acceptance” dance around it. This is so very contrary to my usual habit, which is something like, “Hot Tamale, Batman–I’m having yet. another. breakout.” and then putting some uber-chemically cleanser on it. We’ll see how it goes. It has been a rough year on the acne front. I am the girl who has, literally tried everything–every cleanser, every drug, and it’s not hormonal or due to an imbalance that shows up on a medical test–and my most recent program is simply to avoid wheat, dairy, and sugar, use really gentle and natural Mychelle cleansers and lotions, and to seriously just keep coming back to acceptance of the acne. It’s there. I can’t do anything about it other than what I’m doing. As far as I can tell, I’m detoxing from the wheat/dairy/sugar and that’s that.

Better out than in, right? End of story.

But you’re not reading this update to find out about breakouts, you’re wondering if I had a psychotic break after letting go of refined sugar.

The answer? Not so far. But I am pleased to report a few things.

For one, I have found it. Finally! The diet that works for me (not necessarily everyone, but for me): Avoiding wheat, dairy, sugar. The goal is to eliminate sugar entirely but at this point, I’m not being rigid about it past the point of not eating ice-cream, pastries, sodas, things like that. (For instance, I’m aware that there’s a bit of sugar in my ranch salad dressing. I’m not going to freak about that at this point). It works for me in the sense that I have so much more energy than I did. I include some (sustainable, non-factory, hormone-free) chicken and occasionally beef in my diet. Other than that, it’s tasty deliciousness of all kinds of other great things. My favorite new breakfast is Bob’s Red Mill Rice Farina topped with a bit of lite coconut milk, sprinkled with cinnamon and toasted almonds. Deeeeelicious! I’ve been really enjoying kale, grains, new salad combinations, soups, beans, etc. (P.S. My definition of “works for me” is that it’s a diet I know is healthy, is relatively easy to follow, and leaves me with lots of energy).

For two, I can do this. I had a lot of stuff coming up in that last entry around wondering if I could actually do this and stop having the cakes, cookies, etc. Other than the two oatmeal cookies I had, I haven’t had any of those things. It has been surprisingly easier than I had first thought. It now seems strange to me to think of eating a traditional pizza.

For three, I’m restoring and evaluating as I go, with no attachment. Since I know I’m going to eat whatever the hell I want when I spend the month in Italy and eat out with the retreat participants, I feel good knowing that I’m giving my body a restorative period in the months before I go. Then I’ll come home and be back on my good old California-girl juice-cleansing kombucha drinking leafy green path. I’m both acknowledging that I’m addicted to sugar while simultaneously open (and behind my choice) to have this period of the year where I’ll suspend reality.

For four, I am learning all kinds of great nuances of my body. For instance, a sugar craving is almost identical to a hunger craving (at least, the sensations are the same in my body). Or noticing when it is that I start feeling most nuts for some sugar and when it’s no big deal. Also, it’s been great to put more focus on things like drinking water, and noticing thirst more than I used to.

For four, the most helpful nuance I’m learning? How I respond to addiction. Addiction seems like such a strong word, doesn’t it? I get that. But truly, the sugar thing is such an addiction. As it happens, Andy has recently seen a Chinese Medicine nutritionist and she is doing some acupuncture with him and making assorted diet recommendations, so he’s been ditching wheat and dairy and sugar for the past month as part of a detox/cleanse. We were at a barbeque recently, and among the food on the table was a box of chocolate chip cookies.

After the barbecue, we talked about those cookies–how we’d both wanted one. We’d both thought about it. We’d both debated whether or not to have them. We’d both thought, “Oh, I’m sure one would be okay,” and then taken ourselves back from the brink.

We were laughing as we discussed this, because certainly we were not having these thoughts about the potato salad. Or the regular salad. Or the beans. Or the rice. Or the meat on the grill.

No, the thing that we were debating were cookies, because we both knew that one cookie would lead to two and then to another and I just have to say that for me, even if I have the willpower to stop at two cookies (and I do), part of recognizing the addiction is that when I cave and have the refined sugar, it just makes it harder to resist the next day. I am coming to a far fuller understanding of why it is that alcoholics pretty much have to stop going to bars when they get into recovery. (P.S. I don’t think anything is wrong with having cookies. I just notice that I’m trying to see how far I can go with this phase of letting go of sugar, what that’s like, etc. )

So many of you commented or emailed me regarding my last post on letting go of sugar–I had no idea there were so many others out there who were working through something like this yourselves. Thank you for the support! I immensely appreciate it.

Did any of you recently decide to let go of sugar (or something else that’s hard to let go of)? How’s that going?