Everett Bogue Short Interview from Kate Swoboda on Vimeo.

I enormously admire people who are “no bullshit” kind of people. I admire all the more when it’s a no bullshit + passion for something + inspiring kind of combination.

Meet Everett Bogue. He’s a twenty-something writer who quit his day job and moved across the country with $3,000 in his pocket. By adopting a minimalist lifestyle, he managed to feed and shelter himself on that money until he was able to fully parlay that into a writing career–and he’s created quite the career for himself, writing and promoting two powerful E-books, The Art of Being a Minimalist and Minimalist Business. In essence, he’s pared down his life to only the essentials, but in the process has found that he’s created far more space–and far more freedom.

I’ve reviewed his work thoroughly, I confess partly with a keen eye and my built-in B.S. Detector on “high alert.” It’s one thing for someone to suggest that living simply can be done. It’s another to see if the perspectives they put forth are actually useful or practical. They passed.

What I appreciate most about his books are two things: 1.) He puts out the counter-arguments that anyone’s going to come up with when someone suggests that they might be able to live the way they desire to live. He addresses the critic that rares its ugly head, saying that something is impossible. 2.) He goes beyond minimalism for minimalism’s sake, or minimalism so that you can start your lucrative career. He gets into things like…slowing down…choosing the relationships that really nourish you…not being a victim…tapping into your values.

I recently interviewed Everett for The Courageous Year, Level Three (The Courageous Year is topical, and Level 3 will cover Commitment & Accountability, two things that I thought he could share a lot on, given that both would be needed in order to shift your lifestyle in the way that he has). I’m providing a snippet of the interview here, for you to get more of a sense of who he is…

And if what he has to offer intrigues you, click here to snag The Art of Being a Minimalist or Minimalist Business.

Okay, then–this is the last and final key (so far, anyway!). If you missed any of the keys, mosey on over to Part One, and then the links to click through each key will be towards the top of the page, arranged chronologically.

Key #10: Trust that your right people will find you. It never ceases to amaze me how right on the universe at large can be. Trust, trust, trust. I learned (or, re-learned) this back in January/February. I was totally stressed during that time, feeling myself acutely in the middle of the throes of “what am I doing?” and “will I be able to pay rent?” Tons of fear. Tons. It was all normal, related to me doing something I was new at. The fear would reach a certain threshold and then I’d use a tool and I’d get unattached to outcome again, and then–calls came in. I know. It sounds all woo-woo. But I’m going to defer to Key #7 on this, and say that my way might differ, but I honor it. When I’m clinging, not only does my life not work but I believe that I block my own access. And when I say that calls come in, I don’t mean that clients necessarily come in. I mean, during the weeks when I was in the thick of it, it was like a dead zone. When I let go of attachment and trusted, a supportive email would come in. An invite to collaborate on something. A new idea that ended up resonating with people. So I’m not talking about letting go of attachments and trusting to get more money (though I don’t knock that). I’m talking about letting go of attachment because it’s a better quality of living and opens us up. We look less desperate and are less inclined to violate Key #9 when we’re open and in acceptance of where we’re at with our process.

So really, perhaps the biggest thing I’m learning as I define for myself what Courageous Marketing looks like for me is that I’m powerful when I both go towards my inner YES/what resonates, as well as when I allow the process to unfold.

I share the Courageous Marketing Manifesto with you because I know that there are some entrepreneurs out there, some people who are also working on how to find ways to get the word out about what they do, to risk being seen, and they want to do what works but they also want to do what feels good and authentic. Feel free to pass this along.

And also? What would you add to this? Are there any Keys that you’ve discovered for yourself that might be helpful to others?

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

* And the point is the point

* Your Wisdom

I’m continuing with my Keys in Courageous Marketing from my Courageous Marketing Manifesto, a way that I’m defining for myself what is comfortable to me and what is not around spreading the word about what I do. If you missed Part One, read it here.

Key #9: Don’t manipulate! Like the coach who had her assistant call me the other week, implying that she was interested in starting a practice with me, saying she wanted to “collect research” when really, she was collecting info on how I run my business? Yeah. I thought that call seemed fishy, and a quick input of the phone number into Google showed me what was up. To not put too fine a point on it–That’s nutty behavior. Not at all authentic. Hopefully not the behavior you encourage in your clients. Call me up and invite me out for a lovely cup of rooibos tea and I’ll tell you anything you wish to know, because I have nothing to hide. But for goodness sakes, no attempts at subterfuge.

QUESTION: What have you seen that you considered manipulative, on the web? Have you had anyone call you as I was called?

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

* Thanks, Jen Louden!

* Self-Care is not a hamburger

I’m continuing with my Keys in Courageous Marketing from the Courageous Marketing Manifesto, a way that I’m defining for myself what is comfortable to me and what is not around spreading the word about what I do. If you missed Part One, read it here.

Key #8: Create win-wins. My favorite kind of Courageous Marketing, my de-facto, my default, the thing that I like to do the most, is anything that creates a win-win. I admire greatly the people who are so popular on the web that people will blog about them or tweet about what they’re doing without any prompting. Certainly, it would be nice if a whole collection of people were going, “Gee, that Kate Swoboda. She’s spiffy. Let’s share what she does with others” and I needn’t do a thing. But even if that were the case, I think I’d still immensely enjoy win-win marketing: both of us win. So for instance, any time you see an interview online, that’s totally marketing. Of course it is. But to me, it’s win-win marketing. If I do an interview for someone and they post it on their website, I win because their readers learn about me and they win because they get content on their site that their readers want to see. I’m going to spread word about the interview, and so will they. Danielle LaPorte did this beautifully when launching The Fire Starter Sessions, recently (see below for the link).

And if you’ve been thinking of seeing if we could collaborate on an interview, but were afraid to ask? Ask away!

QUESTION: How do you create win-wins with what you do in your job?

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

* Truth Never Attacks: An Interview With Danielle LaPorte

I’m continuing with my Keys in Courageous Marketing from the Courageous Marketing Manifesto, a way that I’m defining for myself what is comfortable to me and what is not around spreading the word about what I do. If you missed yesterday’s Key, visit the “flying solo” category.

Key #7: Honor my work in my way, even if it differs. You’ve probably noticed that just about every other coaching site out there has packages. Lots and lots and lots of packages. Small packages and big ones and upgrades. I’ve heard that some coaching schools include courses on marketing as part of their programs and that the package thing is big. For years now, I’ve thought about the package concept. Did it work for me? And what I keep coming back to is that it’s not a match. For some coaches, it seems to work beautifully in attracting clients. It doesn’t vibe for me. Mostly because I think to myself that I worked for two years (and continue to find ways to work more) to gain a specific skillset in how I show up, how I am present, with another human being, and that that skillset is valuable and outside the realm of needing to be packaged to help ease someone into buying. I don’t see therapists–who trained in their own, different but just as valuable skillset–offering packages. Or doctors. Or lawyers. Or teachers. Or artists. Or accountants. Or really anyone, except in a few select industries and the coaching industry happens to be one of them. So I just do a flat-rate because that’s what resonates with me and I know I’m worth my rate (and other coaches can laugh at me and roll around naked in piles of cash; that’s okay). This doesn’t just happen with packages, by the way. It happens with how coaches use certain terms (the inner critic vs. gremlin vs. monster vs. self-hate vs. whatever being a term that many people differ greatly on). At the end of the day, I’m behind my choice and trusting that they are behind theirs (so I honor them for that. My way’s not better, it’s just my way).

On Monday, I’ll be updating with Key #8, Create win-wins. In the meantime:

QUESTION: How do you honor yourself with what you do? Is there anything that’s commonly practiced by others in your field, that you consciously choose not to do because it just doesn’t resonate for you?

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

* Courageous Cards

* Hot Tamale, Batman!

I’m continuing with my Keys in Courageous Marketing from yesterday’s Courageous Marketing Manifesto, a way that I’m defining for myself what is comfortable to me and what is not around spreading the word about what I do. If you missed yesterday’s Part One, read it here.

So we continue:

Key #6: Don’t over-do it. Now, the “over-doing” it part is highly personal. So as you read what I write next, keep in mind that I’m just sharing what works for me, within my own concept of Courageous Marketing. For instance, I think “over-doing it” shows up in the form of attaching one’s business name to everything. I personally am turned off when I’m in a space that is supposed to be ad/marketing free, such as an e-course, and someone is using an icon of their business instead of a photo, or their business name as a username, or a tagged link to their business appears with every post. I find it has the opposite effect–instead of being more interested in what the person might offer, I want to get away from it. It doesn’t feel authentic, because I know that that person is not their business. The person is a person first– a brand or business, second. Now, I have heard that it’s something like for every 1,000 times someone sees your business name, only 1% of the time will someone act. Something like that. I wonder if that idea is changing in the new business world, because people today know when they’re being marketed to. I know that that top-level athlete doesn’t really drink a ton of soda in order to improve his basketball game–he’d be an idiot to do that. You know it, too. So I’m thinking that over-marketing it something like telling a joke one too many times. I’d rather open my heart in a real way with you the few times I do encounter you, than practically use blinking text and a highlighter to let you know when I’m opening an e-course again (And again, some marketing people might laugh at me while they roll around naked in their cold, hard cash; that’s okay).

Tomorrow, and each day for the next several days, I’ll be posting one new Key, some piece that resonates with me about how to share what I do in a way that honors who I am. Are you on board?

So I share the Courageous Marketing Manifesto with you because I know that there are some entrepreneurs out there, some people who are also working on how to find ways to get the word out about what they do, to risk being seen, and they want to do what works but they also want to do what feels good and authentic. Feel free to pass this along.

QUESTION: What would you add to this? What is “too much” for you? How do you know the difference (for you) between “too much” and “fear of being seen”?

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

* The Courageous Marketing Manifesto (Part One)

* Truth Never Attacks: An Interview With Danielle LaPorte

On the side of a newspaper dispenser in San Francisco.

Okay. So. Those of you who have been following my blog for awhile now, know that an area of seeming discontent for me has been around marketing.

Here I am. I run a business. I need to “market myself.”

But what exactly does that mean? I found it both surprising and–to be completely honest–a bit disappointing that much of my time would necessarily be taken up with learning about, and implementing, something that involved “marketing myself.” I laugh to think of it now, but it seriously did not occur to me that this was something I’d need to spend much time on beyond getting my website in good shape, SEO-wise. And as a side note? I am not a fan of the word “marketing.” It’s too similar in my head to another m-word…”manipulation.”

It seems to me that at the heart of most marketing messages is some attempt on the part of the person/entity doing the marketing to make whatever is being sold seem as easy and effortless to implement as possible. And I have been so, so resistant to participating in that because let’s be real. With what I do, working with people–frankly, sometimes transforming yourself and rocking out your life, and sometimes even just relaxing enough to have fun and PLAY is not so easy and effortless, is it? I’m not committed to a Story that it “has to” be hard and I’m convinced that a ton of fun can be had along the way. But the quick n’ snappy , 1-2-3 steps to a perfect life thing? Nah.

There are a few keys I think I’m picking up along the way, and I’m pulling them together into my idea of what I call “courageous marketing.” Yes, that’s right. I am redefining it for myself because in the face of some of the stuff I see online, it seems I have the choice to either get defeated or to empower myself to construct it for me.

So here’s Part 1 of my Courageous Marketing Manifesto, complete with handy-dandy Keys that I use to determine what works for me, and what doesn’t.

Key #1: Show up online like I show up in the world. That is to say: silly, tenderly irreverent, funny, joyFULL, committed to my vision, in process, willing to ask good questions, observant, intelligent, serious, not too serious, willing to be utterly random. This is #1 for me, because if I start even trying to write copy that conforms to anything I’m not actually interested in writing about, my joy levels go way down–and that is not why I decided to start doing work that I love.

Key #2: Make my courageous marketing work about how I can a.) get the word out about what I do, while b.) being completely transparent as to what I see the process being about, while c.) letting people know that I’ve done my own work, I continue to do my work, and I know my shizzle and can help someone through.

Key #3: While soliciting people to learn from, ask lots of questions to begin with to make sure you’re connecting with someone who has a shared vision. Early on in trying to learn more about how to spread word of what I do, I purchased this e-book/consultant package. I was super-excited, spent a bunch of time (we’re talking hours and hours) going over this e-book, prepping my questions. The consultant was billed as hot stuff, we had a half hour, and I wanted to be ready to rock and roll. But when it came down to the consult? They hadn’t looked at my website or concept or anything.  Scheduling the consult itself was a nightmare of unreturned emails and unnecessary complications. And the call itself? A nightmare of rushing, plus a disrespectful tone of voice at one point. I will never purchase something from that person, again, and I’d hesitate strongly before purchasing something from anyone they collaborated with. BUT–at the end of the day, we’re all adults, here. You and me–we’re grownups, now. We gotta ask questions, beforehand. If we need something, we gotta speak up and say what we need. I made assumptions about how the process would work based on my own standards. My standards aren’t everyone else’s.

Key #4: When something new doesn’t feel like a match, give it time rather than speaking in absolutes. There was a point in time when I swore that I hated Twitter. Now I find it kind of fun. I’m trying to notice where, when I think of a new way to share what I do with others, I might hesitate because I’m afraid of either a.) risking/being seen or b.) judgement/coming across as one of those “marketing types.” The fear is a comfort zone issue, not a marketing issue.

Key #5: Stick to your guns when it really hits a nerve. Perhaps the thing I’ve found most appalling when I’ve read about marketing is the encouragement to suck up to people who get a lot of traffic so that they’ll think you want to be friends and then start pimping your stuff. This hits my “manipulation” button in big ways. I’m open to the idea that I might reframe it more positively in the future (see Key #4), and yet at this point, it seems vitally important to me that I’m only connecting with people with whom I genuinely resonate, and that I let those connections be organic. I want to connect with people who have open hearts and a willingness to share their wisdom. Period. And I hope that anyone who reaches out to me has the same desire. Period.

I’ll be updating these Keys each day this week–check back for more.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

* This is the time of your life

* So what is Courageous Living?

All of My Days from Kate Swoboda on Vimeo.

When I made this video, it was after a period of sadness that had been really tough to wrestle with. When I was making the video, one of the questions that guided me was “What’s your wisdom?” with “What can you say you know for sure?” coming in as a close second. I consider asking these questions to be a sort of tool that is used during hard times. “Okay, I have no idea what to do about ABC. But what’s my wisdom? What tools do I have? What can I say I know for sure?”

This isn’t about speaking THE truth, some kind of absolute–just yours.

I’m working on a new video, and this time, I’d like to open up those questions a bit more, and include you.

What’s your wisdom?

Big, small, whatever–what’s your wisdom?

If you’d like to participate, here are the details:

1.) Please upload a picture to your Flickr account or website–upload it in some way that I can download it. VERY IMPORTANT: Please don’t email anything directly to me as an attachment.

2.) Come here, to this entry, and post in the comments. Post a link to the picture you’d like me to use, as well as your bit or bits of wisdom. Keep the bits to just a sentence or two at most.

3.) Another option: Email me with the link to the picture (again, please don’t send any attachments; they will be deleted by my spam catcher) and share your wisdom. Put “WISDOM” in the subject line of the email.

When will the video be ready? I’d like to receive everything by May 1st, and then start putting things together and hopefully have it ready by May 7th.

How will I get credited in the video? I’ll put your picture and words together, and use a first name last initial format. I.e., “Quote here,” — Kate S.

I’m so genuinely excited to see what people send through. Many of my Courageous Year participants will be participating in this project! If this idea resonates with you, please pass along the link! I’d really love to see as many people participate as possible. Can you imagine the kind of video that we would collectively create, what a wonderful lift it could be for any of us, or for someone else, to view on a rough day?

~ ~ You matter. ~ ~ Your voice deserves to be heard. ~ ~ You are courageous. ~ ~

All of My Days from Kate Swoboda on Vimeo.

You know that feeling you get, right after a really long, hard, cry–suddenly something in your body unlocks (for me it’s across my chest, my heart) and then shoulders drop and everything feels incredibly calm and clear?

I’ve spent the past few days just sitting with my sadness. Not busying myself with stuff, not running about, but just sitting with it. Camping out in front of the computer watching instant downloads on Netflix, reading books, taking naps, avoiding folding the laundry.

I believe that we need these places–these unproductive places, these places where seemingly nothing is happening. “But Kate,” someone might say, “If someone is severely depressed, and they start doing what you’ve just described, it will only get worse.”

Ah, but I think there is a difference between sitting with something, which is a highly active process despite its seeming lethargy, and being mired in a severe depression. In case you’re thinking next time a sad space comes you’d like to try out the “sitting with”, here’s a few key pieces:

Sitting with:

* Conscious of and willing to reach out for help at any time, and committed to doing so if the feelings get too overwhelming.

* Setting up ways to check-in with oneself (i.e., “I’m feeling sad/resistant/frustrated; I’ll check in again in one hour to see how I’m feeling and if I feel ready yet to do something that might lift me out of that.”)

* Openness to trying new things.

* Willingness to feel the feelings as they arise, without denying them or shaming oneself for them.

So while I’ve spent more time “watching television” (we actually don’t have a TV, Netflix on a laptop is about it) in the past week than I have since May of 2009, I’ve also been crying a lot, journaling, sitting quietly, focusing on using my tools, and–yesterday–trying new things. For me, that was painting.

I have not sat down for a “real” painting session since at least February of 2009. In February of 2009, we packed up our things into a storage locker and began a short-lived career as house-sitters. Then I went to Italy for the summer and told myself that I’d spend time painting there, even if I had to re-buy supplies at EU prices. Nope, didn’t happen. Even after getting my office completely arranged and making room for creativity here in November, I didn’t really get out my supplies. When I started the Across Mediums e-course, I loved that it gave me a real reason to pull things out. Yet even this was not a “real” painting session to me, because I knew that I did need to document what I was doing so as to have pictures to go with the course. I didn’t totally feel like I was working just for myself, without any goal of showing it to anyone, and I didn’t really have the indulgence of pulling out all of my supplies. Additionally, one of the points of the AM course is that one needn’t–shouldn’t–spend a lot of time trying to work on a project or final project. The point is to spend 20 minutes a day on something, do what one can, and let go after that.

So yesterday, I pulled out all of my supplies. (My office right now is a blooming mess.) And I couldn’t find the plastic plate that I use as an easel. Whine, whine whine–pull out tinfoil and cover a regular plate already, Swoboda. And all of my paintbrushes had these odd little things on them about the size of pieces of sand, which I take to mean that spiders or some other bug laid eggs in the bristles while they were in storage. Ew. And–okay. Put some dirt on it, Swoboda.

I painted for hours. I listened to Krishna Das and the soundtrack to Vicky Christina Barcelona. I painted past and through lunch. I literally forgot to eat. Then I finally did eat and there was a letter in the mail that opened my heart and as I read it, I cried big, hard, long tears while holding it and sitting on the couch.

When I was finished crying, something in me was unlocked, and the first thing that I wanted to do was make this video. I had been inspired to take footage of a day that I went out with my SX-70 and shot pictures of magnolias and then with my Canon Digital Elph I filmed the pictures while they were developing. I’d also taken some beach footage while Andy and I stole away to Pacific Grove last weekend. And did I mention that I found a really awesome pair of cowgirl boots, all tooled up and tricked out and fancy? (I feel shy about wearing them, yet when I do I feel like a total superhero. Where’s my cape and a trusty steed?)

I had such fun making this video, and it felt real and funny and true. It came together in about an hour, which is super fast for me with video making of this kind.

I share it with you, in the hopes that if you are going through a raw or tender place right now, it inspires adventure, or that you know you are not alone (you are never alone), or that you laugh, or that you feel the urge to go wake up your cat to pet her cute little nose. Something.

I love the last line of the song: “Even breathing feels alright.”

I feel like I can breathe, again. Turns out it was me who needed to give myself permission.

(click the link above to download the e-book)

To round out e-book week, I’m offering a PDF version of the Job Suckage Challenge. Now, the “Stop the Job Suckage Challenge” was something I ran from January 1-10th of this year, offering day-by-day exercises for looking at why our jobs can sometimes suck, and why they might not be the sole cause of blame. Many people don’t like their jobs–my feeling is that in some cases this is actually a thing that can be improved or remedied, in other cases the job isn’t the problem at all (it’s the scapegoat that gets the blame), and in still other cases the job truly isn’t a match and that it’s a powerful practice to get fully in integrity with oneself before attempting to leave any relationship, including a relationship to a job.

If you’re taking this challenge, I strongly suggest that you take it one day at a time, no flipping ahead (no peeeeeking!). There is something about the element of surprise and also giving yourself time to marinate in between exercises that I think will be really  helpful.

On this note of clarifying the often complicated feelings that we have about our jobs–what are some exercises, books, tools, tips, resources, quotes, mindsets that you’ve found helpful around “job stuff”? I’m thinking of perhaps an exercise you might have done in a workshop that really helped you clarify what you wanted, or a book that really resonated with you. Please share–I know that feeling “ick” around jobs is a very common phenomenon and I bet there are people here who would be helped!

Registration for The Courageous Year closes today…Click here to register and reserve your spot. The course includes interviews with amazing people like Christine Mason Miller and Jen Louden and Pixie Campbell, among others, as well as a 100-page e-book, conference calls (optional), and an amazing community.

(click on the link above to download the e-book)

There are stories and then there are Stories. I equate Stories–the capital S kind–as being about habitual actions and assumptions that we have put into practice for so long that we don’t think about them any longer. We all carry them. Some serve us more than others.

For instance, it’s a Story that I tell that the world is fundamentally good and I believe in people. I like that one! It’s a nice swap for the one I held maybe five years ago–that people were fundamentally selfish and that I wouldn’t believe in anyone until they’d proven themselves to me in some way. (I mean…ouch).

What are some Stories you’ve told about yourself or about the way life works? What would it be like to let go of them?

Freedom, I say. One of my tenderest Stories–one I carried for a long, long time–is that men were just out for sex and that they would violate boundaries at the first chance they had. I had a lot of examples to go along with that experience, so that Story seemed really, really real for me. It was after meeting men who didn’t have those intentions that I was able to shift something within myself and practice a new Story: Men (like women!) come in all shapes and sizes, and some are more trustworthy than others, and I am a competent woman who is clear on what her boundaries are and how to speak up if they are breached.

Another Story–that the only way to have creativity in my life was with a great studio, a thriving Etsy shop, and a series of hung shows. The way that that Story was interrupted was when I saw how unhappy I was with that lifestyle–trying to pull together enough work for a show, constantly comparing myself to other artists and what they were doing and were they better, the physical work of hanging a show, finding storage for pieces in between a show, cleaning up that sassy studio…these days, I far prefer a little table in my office. When I do creative work, it’s a treat. When I don’t, it’s fine. No pressure.

So what Stories do you tell? What would it be like to let go of those?

Speaking of stories (the lowercase kind), here are some that are told about The Courageous Year (registration ends tomorrow!).

“I feel like I am getting a lot of support out of this course. I am the kind of person who dithers a lot about committing to things like this, but I am so glad I trusted my instincts with this one. I would recommend it (and have done!) to whoever asks.  The lessons are so well thought out, communicated clearly and have had an immediate impact on my life for the most part. I also like that it’s kept fun.” — E. S.

“I feel I am getting numerous valuable tools to help me in my life.  It’s really interesting to begin to see how so many of these things are connected–the inner kid, the blame story, forgiveness, being in integrity with myself.  It’s been a chance for me to put a lot of pieces of my life-puzzle together, and in the process begin to either release, re-frame or forgive a great deal of the challenges I have had along the way.  It’s definitely freeing, and I’m so glad to have had the courage to begin the process.” — C. V.

“I have felt some major shifts within myself. I think just being able to recognize my “stories” for what they are, is huge. Having written down my values, and noticing my inner critic, are all of benefit…my friend was asking me if I would be happier to have the money to spend on something else, and all I could think about are the things that are most important to me – my values. And personal growth along with several others of them are a match for me with this course. I want to live BIG, and I know that I am capable, I just need more tools in my toolbox – and I’m getting those here. I also enjoy having a group of women to share the process with.” — D. W.

“I was on this path (of dreaming and achieving bigger and living by my values) anyway and this course is giving me good structure in which to keep on that path which some extra encouragement and tools along the way.  I have been surprised by some of what I have learned and that’s why I am continuing.” — E. H.

(click the icon above to download the e-book)

To continue with e-book week, today’s e-book is on…the inner critic. Crazily enough, I have this thing where I don’t call it a Gremlin or Monster or any names that connote awful things. I used to call it “the Gremlin,” and then stopped when I realized that the inner critic is a fear-based, scared part of myself–of each of us. If I want to embrace it, I would need to start by attaching a name to it that is more accurate and doesn’t have hints of offensiveness (I mean, would you be willing to work on being nicer to someone who was referring to you as a Gremlin?).

Instead of trying to push that inner critic away with affirmations and pretend it isn’t there–and instead of lashing ourselves harder with a whip, giving that inner critic all of our power, I think that we can work out ways to work with the inner critic, to retrain it so to speak. I think that managing the inner critic is critical to living courageously. I also think that it’s our responsibility to do it. No self-help book, guru, life coach, therapist, e-course, husband, amount of money, job, career, kids, etc., are going to “fix it” so that we feel more capable.

In addition, this book talks about how It’s a Practice–it’s a practice to refer again and again back to skills that serve us. It takes time to shift our lives. It’s easy to get discouraged and then decide to throw it all away and let the inner critic run the show.

(Click the icon above to download the e-book).

E-Book week continues–each day this week, I’m offering a new PDF downloadable e-book, utterly begging to be colored with pretty markers and crayons and whathaveyou (bring on the glitter, folks).

I love making these e-books. It seems like an almost irreverent way to take a serious topic or subject, something I’m excited about articulating, and then turning it inside out with pictures and funky text–squeezing the uber-seriousness right out of it and just having fun (because I do believe that “This stuff has to be SERIOUS” is a Story. And if you’re not yet familiar with capital-S Stories, wait until you see the e-book that comes out on that one!).

I wrote the following for the Free Resources page on my website, when I first made this book available:

I want to be clear about what I’m sharing as my vision for Courageous Living, and I wanted to offer free resources for you to try out. I don’t believe that Courageous Living is about sprinkling fairy dust and reciting affirmations (though hey, don’t knock that until you’ve tried it…). Rather, I see Courageous Living as being about embracing all that comes into the circle of your existence. Courageous Living is about making space for the hurt and pain in addition to–and to create more–joy and passion and alive-ness (and, hey–affirmations and fairy dust if that’s the way you roll, or more laughter over martinis with friends, or more sketching in a notebook in the grass, or more window shopping at Anthropologie, or more sipping kombucha while reading a design magazine. Seriously–all of it).

There’s a lot of discomfort in our society with “all of it.” We tend to want to pick and choose so that we only have the experiences that we say we want to have, and I think that this tips things out of balance. It also makes the things we say we don’t want feel more unpalatable, and creates a culture of people who look for ways to disconnect (usually through substances).

(Not to put too fine a point on it.)

So, then, I created this wee e-book on Courageous Living. It started out as a brainstorm and then as I was sitting at the desk it took on a life of its own, and before I knew it I was scanning pages and hitting ”save as > PDF.” Funny how those things happen, isn’t it?

I hope you enjoy. Feel free to pass along the link to the e-book!

If what I say here resonates with you, then you’ll also vibe with The Courageous Year (registration closes this week!).

By the way, what’s the most courageous thing you’ve done lately? If you step past all of the stuff about how “that’s not big enough to be courageous,” what have you done lately that you’re excited about?

——–

I had to come back and edit this post to add that I really love what Brene Brown is sharing about worthiness! She writes: ”

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough.

It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.”

(Click the image above to download the e-book)

I started working on this e-book a few weeks ago, when I had this day where I felt this sort of…exhaustion with snarcky behavior. I was looking around and seeing stuff that didn’t sit well with me, seeing these “join in on the snarck” discussions and those didn’t feel good, yet I noticed that those who did/do speak out amidst those snarcky discussions often stand out as not going along with the group, not being cool enough. This is related to my post on how disheveled is not a credential, and this thing that happens where distinguishing oneself as part of one group becomes making the other group “bad.” I noticed that I felt that same tired feeling from high school (and, frankly, junior high), thinking that I felt bad for whomever was being talked about and wondering if it was me and feeling the unease and mistrust that gets cultivated during these conversations.

When could we all just relax and be ourselves and not worry that someone else was going to pop off some snarcky comment?

Though of course, I’m a reasonably smart cookie and knew that if I was getting triggered around this behavior then–dum, duh dum-dum…it is behavior that I either exhibit myself already or am afraid of exhibiting or have exhibited in the past and still feel bad about.

In my case, it’s all three. I still catch myself popping off snarcky comments. I know it’s mean and want to never do it again, so I’m afraid of doing it again. I have done it in the past and still feel bad about that (sometimes. I work on forgiveness, too).

So what would have started off as a book that was this burning condemnation of snarckiness everywhere ended up turning into admitting not only where I’ve gone wrong (way wrong!) with participating in snarcky behavior, but also with sharing a vision that I have for creating community that is not about that. With accepting people for who they are and where they are at. With holding space for one another during difficult times. With committing to disagreeing about behavior but not snarckin’ it up at someone else’s expense.

I have this idea that if more people started thinking that way, the world would start to feel like an easier place to navigate. What about you? Are you down with that?

P.S. It’s E-Book week, I’ve decided. Each day this week I’ll be sharing an e-book with you here, so bounce back to the blog each day to download and read any that you might have missed.

P.S.S. Speaking of wanting to create a great community, check out The Courageous Year (registration closes this week!) to create some lovely community of your own, and check out who’s already in the mix to share their wisdom!

A few years ago, I began a practice that would radically alter my life: appreciations.

I stopped assuming that people in my life knew how I felt about them. I stopped assuming that someone knew that I valued their time, their work, their input. I stopped assuming that the cashiers or the sales workers on the floor didn’t need to hear my sincere thank-you, because after all, it was “their job.” I stopped assuming that the people I randomly interacted with who had beautiful smiles or a fun outfit knew that they looked fantastic. I stopped assuming that the mothers who were taking care of kids walked with a belief that of course they were good mothers, of course they were doing a great job with their kids.

So I stepped into a practice of appreciations.

It felt incredibly strange at first–oddly, my biggest fear that kept me from wanting to make the appreciation was a fear that the person was thinking I was kissing up or just trying to get something out of them. But I tried it a few times and noticed how the person’s face would just light up entirely (usually), and I liked that moment of connection. I grew up watching my Dad chat up cashiers–he would always ask how much time they had left at work, and ask how they were doing in such a sincere way, and I noticed that it made it such a nice experience.

Working with the Challenge Day organization has reinforced this all the more–co-founders Rich and Yvonne encourage people to ask strangers, “What are you grateful for?” or “What’s your biggest dream?” Asked with a simple, casual and conversational tone, these needn’t be questions that are “too deep” for everyday conversation, but rather quick questions that can inspire this little hit of connection between people.

The other day my sister called to tell me that she had bought a house! I was so excited for her–and said so. And as I was talking to her, I was thinking of how far she has come, because the past year and a half has not been an easy one for her (moving to a new city, health issues, loss of a major relationship, etc.). So I spoke into that: “Look how far you’ve come! This is so amazing and I’m so happy for you and excited for you!”

Try Something New: experiment with telling everyone, from the casual encounters to the people who mean the most to you, something you appreciate about them. Acknowledge them for all things big or small, even if you think that they probably “already know” this about themselves.

Who’s the first person you would like to acknowledge, and what would you like to say? Do you notice a difference in your day if you make interactions with the more “casual relationships of your day,” like cashiers or service staff, more personal?

When I was in Italy this past summer, I did not have a television. “Ah, no problem,” I thought. “I won’t need a TV! I’ll be in Italy! Who would watch TV in Italy! It would be a crime!”

Well, then. About that.

It’s not that I “needed” television so much as sometimes, in the afternoons when the sun was a sweltering and humid 99 degrees, and I’d already sketched, photographed, done yoga, studied Italian, read a book, cleaned up my little studio apartment and could not venture out in the heat for fear of collapsing on the cobbled streets, I needed a way to just deprogram.

Now, I know, I know. It has become the new hipster thing to get rid of your television. It’s the very definition of not being commercial and leading a more meaningful life. I’ll happily join the hipster brigade on that one, because when we moved into our new place, we did not put a television in the living room. Andy has one back in his “man cave” (the guest house out back that he uses as his office), but that’s really for sports. If we watch “television” these days, it’s on a laptop in the living room. Episodes of The Office and that sort of thing; whatever we can download on Netflix. Usually that means I end up watching a lot of documentaries, and far less television than I used to.

When I’m not watching Netflix, I’ll watch  TED, since just one or two of these talks that average 28 minutes can really be a perfect little lunchtime accompaniment.

Even better? TED talks don’t ROT YOUR BRAIN, the way regular TV does. When I was in Italy and had no television, I figured out that TED talks can be downloaded for free–so I would download them onto my little iTouch, a bunch at once that seemed interesting, and then I’d have something to watch.

This talk, referenced above, is by Eve Ensler (yes, creator of The Vagina Monologues). It touched my heart so deeply over lunch the other day, because I, too, am an EMOTIONAL girl, someone who feels things deeply, someone who spent years thinking there was something wrong with being “emotional” and swallowed her tears until she had that throat-chokey feeling, and someone who now cries openly when I think of women in other countries who put up with atrocities that I cannot even imagine, yet emerge with something one might call “Hope.”

I’m also a huge fan of this Tim Brown talk on creativity and play, because I think it speaks so deeply to what happens to us as we adults get older and start thinking of creativity differently.

I’m curious–why do you think it is that as we get older, we are more likely to deny ourselves things like emotions, or creativity? Why do you think it is that we, as a society, start to push away those aspects of ourselves?

Interestingly, it seems like research is pointing us more and more back in the right direction–of valuing play, valuing emotion.

The Courageous Year…A New Opportunity from Kate Swoboda

So, I’m pretty tickled and excited (and, let’s be honest–feeling the overwhelm, the fear that comes along for a ride with this wave, the impulse to control and then a conscious choice to let go and surrender!) because not only did Across Mediums start today, and not only did the first group of Courageous Year participants transition from the Self-Care portion of the course to the Belief & Story portion of the course, but–

A new group is invited to register for The Courageous Year. You can read more about the course here, or watch the video above.

I think e-courses are fantastic ways of connecting across thousands of miles, sharing who we are, and moving forward at our own pace. There are so many great ones out there, all serving their different purpose. The way that so many of us are connecting through the e-course process reminds me of the line from Deb Talan: “You can’t do it all alone–and if you could, would you really want to?” It speaks to collaboration, a huge coming together of people who are creating something that was not there before–an experience.

I’m constantly refining and adding to The Courageous Year. When I first began, I thought that lessons would be delivered primarily in text format. Then participants responded enthusiastically to a random video that I added, so I started to add more of those. There was a call to find a way to document the process and organize thoughts about the lessons, so I made an e-book–which turned out to be 100 pages of goodness. I was granted the opportunity to interview several inspiring souls, who I could never thank enough for being a part of my wee little project.

What do you think of e-courses? What do you like about them? Is there anything that you think would make them more effective?

Florence, Italy.

Italy is a place that feels to me like a second home. In my travels there, I have stepped off of the plane and felt largely utterly in place. I am content to simply wander and people watch and notice (oh yes, and–stop for gelato).

One of the first things that caused me to love Italy so much was the language. I would hardly be the first to declare Italian the most beautiful language on the planet; all of those luscious rolling rrrrr’s and the way a sentence in Italian drifts off of the tongue…truly, I could probably listen to an Italian simply read the phone book. My joke is that normal people dream of summer houses and size-2 waistlines. I dream of being able to speak Italian fluently, effortlessly.

So today, try something new: Learn 10 words in a new language. I’ll offer up ten words in Italian, just because I love it so much. But any ten words will do. Choose a language that you have always been particularly drawn to, whatever it may be, and just look up the words in a dictionary online and put them on a few post-its and keep them around throughout the day. Or write down the Italian words I’m offering you, here. Maybe this is something that would belong in that book “Stuff White People Like,” but something about learning Italian and having the words hanging up around my house feels a little…exotic.

And I’m going to offer up my favorite Italian words/expressions, too:

1.) Buongiorno= good morning

2.) Meravigliosa = wonderful!

3.) Perfetto! = perfect!

4.) Porca miseria! = “miserable pig” an expression used the way we say, “Dammit!” when dropping something or making a mistake.

5.) Puo repeterle? = Can you repeat that/it?

6.) Dov’e il bano? = where’s the bathroom?

7.) Sono molto stancha. = I am very tired.

8.) Ho fame. = I am hungry (literal: “I have hunger.”)

9.) Me le cavo = “I can get by.” I picked this up from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Eat, Pray, Love, and the Italians nodded approvingly when I used this.

10.) Mi dispiace, per favore, non fumare. Io sono gravida. = “I’m sorry, please, no smoking. I am pregnant.” This one comes in handy when the cigarette smoke starts to get on your nerves. If you’re a guy reading this, I’m sorry that I can’t offer you something.

Speaking of Italy…

Want to go?

I’m planning a retreat there from October 11-15th. The retreat is a Courageous Play retreat, meaning–this is about being in Italy. This is about indulging completely in beautiful scenery, speaking Italian, painting, writing, napping in the grass, taking optional day trips. You don’t have to “do” anything–you simply get to relax. The villa where I’m planning this retreat is absolutely gorgeous–we’re talking stone buildings, an enoteca for wine-tasting, stunning sunsets, walking along a gentle stream on a one-lane road gorgeous. We’ll go to the pasticherria for pastries and amazing cappuccino in the mornings, duck into Florence by bus (a quick 15-20 minute hop), explore the back roads of the city, take pictures, nap in the afternoons, go on gelato runs. 

Retreat price: $1,000, paid in installments (if you wish–of course, you can also pay in full up front).

Includes: Lodging from the 11th-15th, two meals per day (locally grown, fresh food), painting / writing/ photography classes, a portrait session, and the use of a salon where we can spread out, me as your guide, acting as a point-person for optional day trips to antique fairs or medieval towns nearby.

If you have always wanted to go to Italy but have been afraid to go because of gluten issues or a related food allergy, fear no more–we’ll have access to our own kitchen, which means that you’ll be able to stock food there. I can also work with the villa to ensure that we have access to food that meets your needs.

The PDF with more details: http://www.yourcourageouslife.com/italyretreat.pdf

At this point in time, I have room for four more people. If you’re interested, contact me ASAP to get started: kate @ yourcourageouslife .com.

This might be the oddest thing for me to suggest one “tries as a new thing,” yet it is something that was new for me to try, and something that I’ve found really valuable: hiring a financial advisor.

My interest in hiring a financial advisor began at the time that I started working for myself. I knew that I frequently had questions about my assorted money options, and I knew that I wanted to feel like I had more of a plan for my finances. I am not “rich” by comparative standards of The United States or California (I’m always careful when making statements about myself financially that I am not getting too out of touch with how rich, in fact, the majority of us in the 1st world really ARE), but I do feel it’s important to save money and plan for my future. It hasn’t escaped my attention that we are in the midst of a rapidly changing economy, and furthermore was feeling pretty pressed for time–quite pressed, in fact–and sensed that without some outside accountability, the day when I would actually head to the library, hunt down the books, and then read them, would be too easily put off.

Now here’s the thing–I totally could do this on my own. I could go snap up some Suze Orman books like it’s hot, maybe check out a little CNBC programs on money. Who’s that guy who’s always yelling and screaming when he gives stock tips? I think I’ve seen them making fun of him on The Soup. Nonetheless, through a series of serendipitous turns, I was given a recommendation for a money manager and decided to go in for the free consultation that she offered.

I went out to her office, a little fearful I noticed, and when I got there it quickly became apparent that she would not only save me the time that it would take for me to read up on how I want to invest for retirement, but she was also someone who wanted to work with clients on their emotional responses to money.

Basically, it’s like…money therapy! 

And it’s money therapy that comes in an affordable package–about $100 a month. This includes a 2-hour consult with my financial advisor in which we have gone over all of my finances to create the most accurate picture possible of where I stand, established goals, and discussed some of the triggers that I have around money and what to notice about those next. Bonus round? Because she’s been doing this for 20 years, she can offer me, the new business owner, a lot of informal perspective on trends, business growth, etc. I really don’t have anyone else in my life who can offer that–certainly, my own coach can offer stress-relief around money, but he doesn’t have the business background.

Finally, I see this as a positive step towards really being an adult with my finances. Instead of money being something that I deal with when I “have to,” it shifts and becomes something that I am making a conscious effort to give time and care to. I feel more present and the sessions help to keep me focused.

So, try something new: start dealing with your money. Whether or not that means hiring a financial advisor is a personal choice for you to make, but at the very least, set up an appointment with yourself once a month to look at your finances and figure out where you’re at and where you want to go and to assess whether you are on track. Give money some attention–the good kind, not the, “Ick, I hate dealing with you please go away” kind.

What steps will you take next? What resonates for you as a new thing to try involving money?

So I confess that this is an example of the type of radical, discharge from the perfectionistic thinking creativity that we’ll be experimenting with as part of Across Mediums. Try something new: draw something upside down (or, hey, see how long you can hang upside down and draw something, if that is what works for you).

When we draw things upside down, we engage our brain in new ways. You’ve probably read before about the roles of the right brain and left brain, and if you haven’t you might really love this book, which I found to be a fast read and fun while not lacking in focus. It’s also a way of being silly, of indulging in that creative play that thisyhere life skills coach is always talking about. (Trust me, if you’d known me six years ago, you’d have said then that I was just about the LAST person to ever end up in a profession where I pimp positive thinking, empowerment, or being downright silly. I was a little devoid of the silly at another point in my life).

But really–when’s the last time you drew something upside down? Find a picture–any picture, just grab the magazine nearest you or something–put it upside down and then start drawing a rough outline. If you’re worried it won’t turn out right–well, you’re drawing upside down. It’s probably not going to be a masterpiece. The point won’t be to draw it “right,” it’ll be just to draw, to be funky, to stave off the winter doldrums with a little piece of silliness.

When you finish your drawing, feel free to take a picture, upload it to Flickr, and then put a link in the comments!

If you’re interested in more creative play, see Across Mediums.

P.S. How did the computer break go?

I’m pretty fascinated by the slow movement and all that is coming out of it–slow cookers, slow travel, etc. The idea is that in our increasingly fast-paced world, something is lost when we are always in a state of GO GO GO.

Something I’ve started recently, and something I’ve noticed a number of other people doing as well, is taking a computer break. My break starts when I end work on Friday and ends when I fire up the computer Monday morning. During that time, I don’t turn the computer on.

What this has given me has been a sense of true, deep, real refreshment that I did not otherwise have when my days were knitting themselves together with email checks and twitter updates and website updates. Working from home now, it is paramount that I am taking computer breaks of more than 24 hours, because otherwise the Workaholic in me comes in and is perpetually invested in something more that I “could get done in 20 minutes.” 

The interesting thing is that during my second weekend of doing this, because I was not yet fully adjusted to this transition, I completely missed a date with a friend–just totally outright forgot about it–because I am so used to relying on my computer’s calendar system to ding at me and tell me that I have an appointment. While I appreciate technology’s help in keeping me together, I see it as not so good that I would completely miss a date with a friend because unless my computer dings at me, I’ve forgotten it completely.

So the computer break could be amended with: Check out your to-do list and appointments before you turn things off on Friday.

Something like that.

So try something new: take a complete and total break from the computer this weekend. Don’t get on, no matter how many times you might be tempted. Write down the phone numbers of people you might need to get ahold of so that you don’t have to look them up in your contacts system. Leave the emails unanswered. Just let go, and take an actual break away from computers and the internet. Take a walk, go to the library, play with play-doh, pull out the paintbrushes, take the camera for a spin, call an old friend, write hand-written letters. Unplug so that you can recharge.

According to the Lomography.com about page, under the section titled, “What the hell is lomography?”, lomography is “an international socio-cultural movement using photography as a creative approach to communicating, absorb and capturing the world. ” I reduce that definition to basically–use photography to capture the world around you, and when we step away from digital we reduce our dependence on machinery or “getting it perfect.”

There are 10 golden rules of lomography, or “lomo” as it is affectionately referred to in shorthand. They are:

1. Take your camera everywhere you go
2. Use it any time – day and night
3. Lomography is not an interference in your life, but part of it
4. Try the shot from the hip
5. Approach the objects of your lomographic desire as close as possible
6. Don’t think (william firebrace)
7. Be fast
8. You don’t have to know beforehand what you captured on film
9. Afterwards either
10. Don’t worry about any rules

Now, I dunno about you, but that seems like a pretty fun list. There is a whole range of lomography cameras that one can use as part of creating the funky pictures of this movement. I’ve been having fun with this Blackbird, Fly camera pictured above, my dad’s old Voigtlander Vitoret from the 60′s, an old Polaroid 600 Land Camera (still waiting for my ND filter to arrive so that I can hit the town with my Polaroid SX-70 Land Camera), and a Holga.

Now, lest you worry that this must be expensive, the Holga is only $25 smackers. And developing 120 medium format film can be costly, however, I have learned that Photo Works SF will develop film via their mail order system for only $10 a roll (this is compared to $7.99 a roll at most local drugstores like Walgreen’s or CVS, which work with 35mm film). So the film development is more expensive, but the more you poke around with lomo, the more fun it is. And dare I say, it’s fun just to press a button and turn the crank on the film, and not know quite what is going to come out!

If you’re thinking that you simply don’t want to buy another camera, there’s also the ultimate in lomo style: making your own. You can make a pinhole camera from your home with a few assorted materials, or even buy a set that is flat-packed and ready to be assembled.

Try something new: get out of the digital and into the lomo for the day. And if it’s been awhile since you even dusted off the digital, try something new by getting out and taking pictures, no matter what.

Yup, the voices may come up that this is stupid or there isn’t enough time or what’s the point anyway. Those voices come up. We get to choose what we’ll do in response to them.

Across Mediums: An Experiment In Radical Creativity from Kate Swoboda

So, okay, maybe you’re looking at this and going, “Really? Try something new–like your e-course? Come on, now.”

But really! I am suggesting that you try something new, and I am looking forward to the utter wild reckless fun of Across Mediums. I’m looking forward to it in large part because now that my days are so full (far, far fuller than I had envisioned them to be when I let go of teaching and set out to, you know, be my own Boss Lady), it is harder to find time to just tap into a wee creative project and have some fun. I see this as being a space where I’ll be able to have some fun while leading others in creating something wild, something that actually makes use of the art materials that I hoard.

Registration ends in less than two weeks (the course starts right after Valentine’s Day!). Click here to sign up (the cost? Only $35–I’m not trying to make a pretty penny off of this course so much as I welcome creating a community of diving in, experimenting, and having fun!).

Now, let’s say that you’re not into e-courses in general or know that you won’t have the time, or it’s not your thing. Cool. For today, try something new by taking the normal amount of time that you spend doing something creative, and now double that.

This is not without merit in the overall scope of our lives. I believe that within us there are aspects of our personalities that are still little kids, and those aspects of our personalities were never meant to stop playing! We were always meant to still laugh, have fun, dance, listen to great music, and color.

Try something new: go to the store and buy the BIG box of crayons, and any coloring book at all will do, and lay on the rug like you used to as a kid (building a fort is totally optional) and just color for awhile. 

Sure, you might feel silly doing it. Sure, some voice might tell you that there are dishes to be washed and fifteen other things to do.

That voice will come up when we try something new. We get to choose whether or not we listen.

P.S. Registration for a whole new group of participants in The Courageous Year is opening right after Across Mediums closes. Make the next 12 months of your life the months that support you in shifting something BIG that you have wanted to shift. Sign up for the mailing list here to be notified when registration for The Courageous Year has opened.

Okay. So you’ve heard of the classical artists like Picasso and Van Gogh. You’ve probably even heard of some modern painters and commercial artists.

But what about graphic designers?

Stefan Sagmeister is an Austrian-born designer who has created some amazing work in the past few years. I confess: I have a bit of a crush on him. I discovered him by a happy accident when I saw his TED talk on how Design can make you happy, and found it to be humorous and multi-faceted and not taking himself (or design) too seriously, yet having a focused quality to the work.

Here is Stefan Sagmeister’s Four-Part Design process, according to his book, “Made You Look”

1.) Think about the project from any point of view–your mom’s, yours, from the point of view of color, from the point of view of form–and write each response down on an index card.

2.) Spread all the cards down on a table to see if you can find the relationship between ideas.

3.) Forget about the whole thing.

4.) The idea will miraculously strike you when you least expect it.

So this got me to thinking–in addition to “trying something new” by now seeking out Stefan Sagmeister and learning about him, I wondered: could his design process be applied to a life challenge of sorts?

So, Try Something New: Think of an issue that you’ve been grappling with lately. Write it down from your point of view, your mom’s point of view…choose like 10 people. Put each point of view on an index card. Then spread them all on a table, and look for the common thread between all points of view. 

Then walk away.

Trust that the idea will strike you miraculously when you least expect it.

It’s “Try Something New” month, so consider that there’s embracing this as a fun way to approach a sticky situation, or there’s declaring it won’t work from the get-go…to what are you more committed?

For several weeks now, I’ve been keeping an idea notebook, jotting down little bits and pieces of inspiration or thoughts or whathaveyou that occur to me. Things I want to try out, things I like and have an itch to pass along, etc.

Then I thought, “Why not a Try Something New month?”

This notebook was one that I picked up in Italy. There was a whole host of various notebooks and I wanted to get this one as a sketchbook for Andy. I loved, among other things, the Helvetica font and the very simple and straightforward message.

Be Open to New Ideas. Delay No More.

So often, those little bits that all come together are the things that make life feel more refreshing and exciting. I think it’s fallacy on some level that one outfit, one relationship, one trip, one book, one whatever is going to “fix it.” 

Nah.

Not one thing.

Lots of little things.

So, okay–at various points throughout the month of February, I’ll be posting “Try Something New” entries, in which I share with you some little tidbit that I think is fun, introduce you to a cool book or website or artist, or share a concept–the kind I am inclined to share in The Courageous Year.

You can decide if you’d like to Try Something New. Think of it like the Job Suckage Challenge (which you can re-read by clicking the Job Suckage category on the left-hand side), a little practice to step into.

Try Something New–just what we need to get us through these last six weeks or so of winter, and into the sunshine.

The cover of the e-book. Click this image to download the PDF (3.1 megs; it will take about 2 minutes).

Wow! The past ten days have been interesting, to say the very least. When I first conceived of doing the Job Suckage Challenge the first ten days of January, it was with the thought that I’d likely be banked in Philadelphia with Andy’s family right after the new year, and I wanted to have something going on with the blog without feeling I had to be tied to the computer doing updates. So I set up the Stop the Job Suckage Challenge for those days, and then the Philadelphia plans ended up not happening, so in the most technical of senses, even though the e-course does not start until one week from today, and even though I had closed coaching client calls in order to accommodate this planned trip, last week was my first week of “work” from home.

And, I have to say, it was a good one. I like being my own boss lady.

One thing that is an adjustment for me–and I anticipated that it would be, because of what I’d noticed about myself whenever I did freelance work on breaks from teaching or when I took a semester off of teaching, before–is that there’s a lot of reframing of what “work” means when I am working from home. Basically, it is sometimes a little more difficult for me to get that fresh and clean “productive” feeling when the work feels like such fun.

As an English prof, I “knew” that I had worked because I had lead a class, or I had designed a lesson plan, or I had re-read an article and annotated it in preparation to discuss it with students. There was this whole list of activities that could be defined as “work” that would then be applied to a very specific context. And yes, many of them were fun, however, I was not passionate about a lot of them (I just don’t get excited about thesis statements and topic sentences…and many of my colleagues did, and could argue passionately about teaching methods that would best explain thesis statements and topic sentences, which was my #1 sign that while I was definitely dedicated to helping students and interacting with people, I was not cut out for long-term English teaching).

The “work” I did last week looked really different–most notably sketching/writing this e-book. My intent was not to actually write an e-book, it was to jot down ideas. I wanted to create an overarching page for the website in which I defined/clarified what I mean by “courageous living,” and then the pages sort of took on a mind of their own. I felt it was important to define this because sometimes, when I read self-help-ey types of websites, I cringe. I cringe at false promises of happiness (what I call “30 days to perfection” coaching); I cringe at the push to just believe it, and it will come  (“fairy dust” coaching); I cringe at boot camp drills (“I’m going to yell your ass into changing” coaching).

If you cringe at those things, too, we would probably be good friends. **

I actually really cringe at the word “coaching,” which brings me to a post I know I’ve been meaning to write for awhile, and it’s my whole thing about explaining what it is that I do. Thus, on my most recent business card, I didn’t even PUT the term “life coach” on it, simply because I do not like the term, which could be my own waste of $22 to print incomplete business cards, but hey–I’m on this kick where I’m doing a whole lot of things that don’t make any technical sense but if it feels right, I go with it.

I am thinking that it would probably be easier to “get” where I’m coming from with some of this if you checked out the e-book, first, so I’ll give you a bit of time to download that and review it and then come back here. It will take about 2 minutes to download and is a very, very fast read.

(Pause).

Okay, so back to the challenge of explaining what I do. It can be a challenge for the following reasons:

1.) People don’t know what a “life coach” even is.

2.) When people do know what a “life coach” is, they’ve generally heard jokes that make coaching sound like a total joke, or know someone who went to a school for a few months, go certified, and is now trying to help people go through extreme life crises for the same price per hour as someone who went and got a Ph.D. and did supervised clinical hours. I understand how that might look to people (though I don’t get why someone who went to school to be a therapist, theoretically a profession involving caring and compassion and ideas about respect for one another, would send me the nastiest email last year telling me that I was “dangerous”).

3.) People make fun of life coaches. Who wants to be part of a group that gets made fun of?

4.) In addition to coaching, I do paid portrait photography work and I write fiction (currently unpaid, though not without its moments). I also designed this website (oh yes, that was me, not the boyfriend!) and have had people inquire about getting help with creative direction on their sites, figuring out how to pull something that represents them, etc. and I get pretty excited by that idea, too. Bottom line? I am not totally comfortable with the idea of settling on just one thing when I am, frankly, inspired by and passionate about so much. Also, doing these different things helps balance the others out.

At the end of the day, I stick with the term “coaching” because choosing other words such as “consultant” don’t quite work (I think of a big corporate conglomerate when I hear that word, myself), and Havi has the corner on “habits educator.” Technically,  the State of California does allow me to legally call myself a “counselor,” but I hesitate to use that term because I work with people in other states where legally, the term “counselor” must be attributed to a license, and I don’t want to walk into that murky area of whether I can call myself a “counselor” while working with someone who lives in a state where I am not supposed to call myself that. And in the most technical of senses, I don’t know that what I do falls totally into “counseling,”  (often it feels more like holding space and helping people with “clarifying”) and there are so many different definitions of what that (counseling) even means, anyway.

Whew. Are you exhausted yet?

But for what it’s worth, I do give these things a lot of thought. (Also, for what it’s worth, my coaching/counseling education involved two years of training and lots of supervised counseling practice–not mail order exercise packets–and I use a sliding scale for rates).

So what am I getting at? Oh, yes–we were talking about how I define courageous living and why I felt it necessary to share it. I felt it necessary to share because I want my sincerity to be seen, and because when it hit me that it was totally okay to 1.) Feel the fear, 2.) Do it anyway, and 3.) This resulted in transformation, it was like WOWZA, A-ha, Kazam! Like, here’s this way of being that I can step into when I’m looking around and wondering what the hell to do next, and I’ve been doing it this whole time–now I can just do it consciously. And then, realizing that this was something that anyone could do, and that I could help people do it by holding space as they were going through their own process? That was huge for me.

I hope you enjoy the e-book and I look forward to spreading more goodness over the next few days, including plans to announce a new E-Course for the artists and creatives out there called “Across Mediums.” Registration for the course will be really limited, so if you’re interested in joining, you’ll want to register for the Announcement List (see left-hand side) as that’s where I’ll send out notice first explaining how to get involved.

Also to be announced soon–I will be in Italy again in October of this year and am arranging a retreat there! This retreat will be oriented completely and totally around pleasure–good food, good wine, good sleeps, good people. Space for this retreat will be limited to only ten people, so again, see the Announcement List if Italy is on your list of dream destinations.

** Yeah, sometimes when I step totally outside of myself and think about how it might look to you or someone else that I have been adopting “kate courageous” or the theme of courage, it occurs to me that this might seem like yet another chintzy marketing scheme. I stick with it because every time I do that internal check, what comes back for me is that I’m choosing to orient my life around something (courage) and it resonates with me and feels good to me. Thus, I keep on keeping on.

Wow. 

We’ve arrived at the final day.

You have determined your ideal day, noticed the qualities you’d like to implement in your life, brainstormed solutions, identified resistance, put yourself in integrity, used collaboration.

Tomorrow is Monday.

Maybe you are habitually afflicted with “a case of the Mondays.”

Like anything else, that is a choice…

Exercise #1: Whether you are shifting careers or still looking into your next move, make a timeline.

If you’re shifting careers entirely, make a timeline for how you will transition out and into what career. 

If you’re still experimenting with career options, make a timeline that notes all of the people you’ll talk to and steps you’ll take.

Put timeline dates into your 2010 calendar.

Exercise #2–the “I really do want to shift things litmus test”–share your timeline with someone who you know will gently keep you accountable. Set up a way to check in with them on at least a monthly basis to report your progress. They need not be your ruler…they’re just someone who will listen to what you say you’re going to do.

Exercise #3–the “There is no doubt in my mind that I don’t want to be stuck in a crummy job forever and I will take action rather than procrastinate test”–share your plans with lots of people, via email, via the internet, via the information super highway, and directly ask for their support.

Then, DO IT ANYWAY, regardless of whether or not they give it.

The journey of stopping the Job Suckage may not be over in only ten days. If you want continued support, consider signing up for the first ten weeks of The Courageous Year, where you’ll have the option of receiving additional support in making the changes you want to make. I also work with people one-on-one, starting with a free complimentary coaching session, to help you work through the transitional challenges that come with stepping into your dream career.

Finally, 

CONGRATULATIONS!

You made it to the end. It is a courageous act just to ask yourself some of these questions and consider the responses that come up.

What’s next? You decide. I support you in courageously stepping forward to live 100% fully alive in all areas of your life, including doing what you love as your livelihood.

* This ten-day series is designed to help you kickstart a new way of approaching your job or career. Over ten days, we’ll explore how to look objectively at the job/career situation you’re in, and clarify where to go next. For some, that might mean not leaving a job but drastically improving it in some meaningful way. For others, this series will provide some help with clarifying your next career move or pave the way to a transition. You’re strongly encouraged to complete all ten steps, in order, to see what answers you arrive at.

Today, mix it up and do the opposite of whatever you’ve been doing.

If you’ve been avoiding challenges, hop in there and get caught up. Take action. Go, now–do.

If you’ve been meeting each challenges, let things marinate. Relax. See what else comes up when you create space around this issue.

And, please do report anything you’ve noticed as you’ve come along on this series, in the comments below! I look forward to hearing how it’s been going.

* This ten-day series is designed to help you kickstart a new way of approaching your job or career. Over ten days, we’ll explore how to look objectively at the job/career situation you’re in, and clarify where to go next. For some, that might mean not leaving a job but drastically improving it in some meaningful way. For others, this series will provide some help with clarifying your next career move or pave the way to a transition. You’re strongly encouraged to complete all ten steps, in order, to see what answers you arrive at.

Day Eight: Collaborate

(Nice how all of that rhymes, huh?)

If you are still considering ideas for a career move, it’s time to collaborate. If you know the career you want to go into, it’s time to collaborate.

For those of you still considering–ask to interview people who are involved in lines of work that you might possibly be interested in. Ask what they love about what they do and what is a challenge. People like being interviewed, so you might be surprised by how many people are totally into this (also, people like it when you buy them a cup of coffee or send them a Peet’s card). Try to get a really real picture of their jobs. Don’t back away from asking tough questions. 

For those of you who know your line of work–ask to interview people in that line of work, and ask what things they  would do differently, or what mistakes they made that they’d do differently, and what they learned. Ask about things like unexpected costs. Ask if they have any job openings where you can intern for awhile. Take a risk.

I once thought that it would be a dream of mine to be a working fine artist. I had some solo shows at cafes and other local places. I learned by doing that it was not something that I ultimately wanted to do. I wish that I had asked more questions of someone in the business, beforehand. In case you’re thinking of becoming a fine artist, here’s my brief personal run-down: 

The Good:

Creativity, art, collaboration, the thrill of seeing your work hung, opening nights, attention, getting messy, people who love your work and tell you so.

The not as good:

Hanging a new show (physically demanding), finding storage space for art, the constant marketing, not making much money on a show given how many hours go into it…which leads to stressing about money.

I learned that I personally preferred to make art in my home rather than do shows. That’s just me. Another artist–someone who’s more invested and more passionate about art-making–might decide that all of my “not so goods” are worth it to her, and they have the perseverance to surmount those challenges.

Either way, isn’t it good to be advised of the challenges before jumping in?

So, who will you be contacting today?

* This ten-day series is designed to help you kickstart a new way of approaching your job or career. Over ten days, we’ll explore how to look objectively at the job/career situation you’re in, and clarify where to go next. For some, that might mean not leaving a job but drastically improving it in some meaningful way. For others, this series will provide some help with clarifying your next career move or pave the way to a transition. You’re strongly encouraged to complete all ten steps, in order, to see what answers you arrive at.

“I’m going along with all of this, but I still know that I don’t want to be in this line of work. Now what?”

First, let’s start with those of you who may not know what line of work you want to go into, and then we’ll get to those of you who know what you want to do and want to take the leap.

Please note that these are both super-involved topics, and I’m going to be aiming for brevity and directness.

If you’re not sure what other line of work you’d like to do–talk to your closest friends and ask them what line of work they would imagine you doing, knowing the kind of person that you are. I consider this far more effective than a college career counselor administering an aptitude test. I took those in college and none of them told me what feedback from my friends told me: that I wanted to call the shots, that I wanted to balance between working with people and flying solo, that I had an interest in problem-solving, that I wanted to incorporate creativity, that I get bored with repetitive tasks.

Who knew? Life coaching is a career where I get to “call the shots” by setting my own schedule and working for myself; I work with people one-on-one for their sessions but “fly solo” when I work by studying up on human relationships or working in my home office; it’s all about problem-solving (the kind that can actually be solved or reframed); I get to incorporate creativity all of the time through writing or website design or just having a schedule where I have time for that. And trust me, there is nothing boring or repetitive about it.

My friends never said “life coach” when I asked them what they saw me doing. They used the phrases above. Notice that no one suggested I go into sales.

What jobs are you drawn to? I didn’t know coaching existed as a career until I happened to read an email about it (passed along to me by a college career counselor). Everything in me said “YES!” when I read that description.

What careers have you heard of, where you thought, “THAT sounds so cool!”

I’ve worked with coaching clients before who described five seemingly unrelated creative things they wanted to do, and then followed that up with, “But there is no career that has all of that.”

Meanwhile, I was listening to that thinking, “Oh, she’s talking about becoming a Creative Director.”

The client thought the job didn’t exist. I knew such a position did exist.

And, as Yvonne Dutra-St.John of the Challenge Day organization is fond of saying when she describes how she ended up becoming a leader/co-founder/author: “The job for me didn’t exist yet. I created it.”

Those of you who are uncertain about your next move are in a great place. You get to experiment and try things out. You also get to choose whether you look at that as an unfair burden or as something exciting!

Now, for those of you who already know exactly what you want to do: How can you make that happen for you, part time? Etsy is everyone’s favorite for crafty selling.

Worried that you aren’t yet experienced enough to do what you want to do? Give it away for free. People tend to worry less about experience when it’s free. Worried you don’t have enough experience to work as a home organizational consultant in some capacity? Start consulting for free–organize your neighbor’s closet, note what you learn, and don’t charge a dime. Positive that you can’t book photoshoots because you didn’t go to school for photography? Do it for free.

Or if you know that it’s not possible to implement it part-time, how willing are you to start announcing to family, friends, loved ones that you intend to start __________ by [ this date ] ?

You have no idea what will come out of the woodwork. You might meet someone tomorrow who can hand you the opportunity to make the switch you want to make. That won’t happen if you keep quiet about it.

For every barrier that comes up, choose to take the approach that you will find the time, money, skills, or capability–the solution will present itself. Resistance will tell you that it’s got to be all or nothing, that you have to have it all figured out now (or five minutes ago). Resistance will tell you that if you can’t quit your job and do exactly what you want full time right now, it’s not worth it.

Okay, then–to what are you more committed? Resistance, or something bigger?

* This ten-day series is designed to help you kickstart a new way of approaching your job or career. Over ten days, we’ll explore how to look objectively at the job/career situation you’re in, and clarify where to go next. For some, that might mean not leaving a job but drastically improving it in some meaningful way. For others, this series will provide some help with clarifying your next career move or pave the way to a transition. You’re strongly encouraged to complete all ten steps, in order, to see what answers you arrive at.

Day Six–whew! 

You’ve looked at how to be in integrity (if you skipped the last post, it’s really important–pause, read, then come back here).

Now it’s time for action. Look at your list of possible solutions from days three and four.

Choose between 3-5 items (challenge yourself to go beyond that, even) and implement them.

Now.

Not tomorrow. Not next week.

Now.

It’s Wednesday. You can do this. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You don’t have to see the effects immediately. 

You don’t “have to” do anything–you GET to do this. Chances are good that if you are reading this, you are living in one of the lucky countries where changes such as, say, improving communication skills in the workplace or having a more balanced schedule are “luxury problems.” I don’t say that to guilt you; I say it to encourage you to take advantage of how fortunate you are. Use your power.

Get started.

Tomorrow we’ll address: “I’m going along with all of this, but I still don’t want to be in this line of work. Now what?”

* This ten-day series is designed to help you kickstart a new way of approaching your job or career. Over ten days, we’ll explore how to look objectively at the job/career situation you’re in, and clarify where to go next. For some, that might mean not leaving a job but drastically improving it in some meaningful way. For others, this series will provide some help with clarifying your next career move or pave the way to a transition. You’re strongly encouraged to complete all ten steps, in order, to see what answers you arrive at.

Whenever I used to go to my coach and complain about my previous job, he would ask me how I could effect some kind of change. I was a college teacher and, for instance, one thing I didn’t like was how I would cave in to students because I wanted them to like me. However, I didn’t like me when I used rigid, strict control to keep from being manipulated. I blamed the students a lot for why I didn’t like my job; I wanted to jump ship and quit.

My coach reminded me that I was in charge of whether I liked my job, and that liking myself/my job was tied closely to integrity, and that it’s not a good idea to leave any relationship (personal, friendship, or otherwise) without first “cleaning up your side” and getting fully in integrity.

So today, Day Five, we get into…INTEGRITY.

Integrity is: when your words and actions match, and they are in alignment with your values, beliefs, commitments and life vision.

I was not liking my job because I was out of integrity all over the place. I was complaining rather than doing (words and actions not matching; violation of my life vision–no one has a life vision that involves “complaining a lot”). I was setting up rules and breaking my own rules (more words and actions not matching, breaking commitments). When I was super-strict, I was enforcing rules in ways that were contrary to who I wanted to be in the classroom (contradiction of my values/beliefs). 

I could go on, but I think it’s obvious–I wanted to blame the students, talk about how awful they could be, blame their parents, blame society, blame budget cuts, blame violent neighborhoods, blame blame blame.

But really? I was in charge of bringing my best to the classroom, and it was really hard to do that when I was a.) out of integrity and b.) topping that with a whopping pile of blame to try and avoid owning my part in all of it.

So, it’s time for a tough question: Where in your current job/career are you out of integrity?

Looking at who/what you blame as the cause of unhappiness is an important place to start. There’s probably lots of juice there.

And, by the way–kudos to you for being willing to even consider looking at this, because it’s tough. Noticing where we’re out of integrity is really, really simple (as a step) yet really, really hard (to embrace).

Of all the steps I took, this was the most important. I knew that if I didn’t “clean up my side” and get into integrity before leaving that relationship, I’d just bring the same old patterns to my next job. I’d still abuse myself in the same ways, blame others in the same ways, and try not to own my own part.

A funny thing happened when I did get in integrity with myself around the guidelines I was setting up with students–when I clarified the message I wanted to send and then stuck to it, letting go of the worry that I wouldn’t be liked–students actually thanked me for being strict. They said things about how it kept them motivated. Even better? The occasional belligerent challenges I’d been subjected to when a student didn’t like it if I asked them to turn papers in on time disappeared–in fact, students said things to me when turning in something late, like, “Hey, I know I’m turning this in late, and I’m sorry about that…”

Once the students were no longer the source of blame, my Resistance/Ego/Inner Critic/Fearful Self shifted, and then spent some time blaming the administration, or society, or the curriculum. 

And one by one, looking at my part, getting into integrity with me, I slooowly dropped the resentment I had around my job. 

This didn’t mean that I chose to stay in that job (why, as some of you may have heard…I’m my own Boss Lady/CEO/CFO/VIP). I ultimately knew that teaching English was not quite the right line of work for me–and I discovered that when I even took the very powerful step of getting in integrity by totally creating a curriculum that I was excited about (rather than complain about the dull curriculum that I’d thought I was forced to work with) and then realized that at the end of it all, my heart was still called to something different.

Getting in integrity with your job–doing all that you can to bring the qualities you know you want in your life into your job, right here, right now, no waiting, no putting the onus on someone else to “fix it” or change it–this is BIG. It’s powerful. 

It’s not something you do because you want to stay in the same line of work–it’s something to undertake because it feels more powerful to live that way. It is THE thing that can shift any job, any relationship.

So–again with this question–what are you more committed to? Resistance, or stopping the Job Suckage, aka, getting into integrity, aka, getting fully into your life?

P.S. If you are still interested in signing up for The Courageous Year but you missed the January 1 deadline, I’m extending it to January 15th! If you are contemplating making big changes this year, this course will support you with that–with exercises, interviews, discussion forums, live conference calls, and who knows what more we’ll dream up? Sign up for the e-course today.

* This ten-day series is designed to help you kickstart a new way of approaching your job or career. Over ten days, we’ll explore how to look objectively at the job/career situation you’re in, and clarify where to go next. For some, that might mean not leaving a job but drastically improving it in some meaningful way. For others, this series will provide some help with clarifying your next career move or pave the way to a transition. You’re strongly encouraged to complete all ten steps, in order, to see what answers you arrive at.

Day Four: The “Can’ts.”

Perhaps you read yesterday’s post and decided that you “can’t” find any solutions to incorporating a particular quality into your current career/job.

Perhaps because there’s no time, no money, or because someone else won’t let you.

Yesterday I offered the example of bringing creativity into the workplace, and offered some example hypothetical solutions. One was to see if people from the office would be interested in getting together for a once a month art group.

Resistance–which is codename for that fear-based part of ourselves that doesn’t want to try anything new because it would be, ugh, hard–is going to say something about how that’s a lot of effort, and you don’t even like the people from work anyway, and no one else is creative, and they’re not creative the way you want them to be creative, and you don’t have a house where that could happen, and you’d feel stupid if you put it out there and no one responded, and…

Okay, cool. So Resistance has all of that come up. Now–what are you more committed to? Resistance, or stopping the Job Suckage?

If, right now, you’re more committed to Resistance, that’s okay. No need to cue the grand inquisitor. You’re not bad or wrong. You’re just at where you’re at.

If you read that and thought, “No, you don’t get it, I’m not committed to Resistance–I want to CHANGE,” then we circle right back to that list of brainstorming, and all of the myriad possible ways that life could get shaken up and look different because you were courageous enough to take a new step. 

Whatever Resistance comes up for you, accept it and then work through it. Beating down Resistance with happy affirmations does not work (you heard it here, first). Accepting that you have Resistance, that “Can’ts” come up, is part of the work. Courageously making a different choice is another part of the work.

What are you more committed to?

Maybe you’re overworked at your office and you want peace. Maybe you brainstormed solutions like, “Delegate work to someone else” because you were thinking of any possibility, but really, you can’t imagine that that will ever be a possibility–there are budget cuts, there is no one else who can take the work, etc.

Okay, fine–that might not ever happen. In what other ways can you bring peace to the workplace? Five minute meditation? Closing your eyes and breathing for thirty seconds?

Resistance is going to pop up and go–”But that’s not what I WANT, I want the kind of peace that comes from not having as much work; it won’t work for me to close my eyes and meditate, I NEED the solution to be that someone else takes this work off of my hands!”

Recognize that that is Resistance. Resistance is going to tell you that it’s all or nothing. Resistance is going to tell you that taking any step that is not THE SOLUTION is wrong.

So, to what are you more committed?

Review your list of brainstorming items. Put a star next to the ones that you most wish would happen. Put a checkmark next to the ones that you notice you are most Resistant to–the ones you believe are most impossible to have happen.

Challenge: start daydreaming about the changes you most wish would happen, working out possibilities like you’d move puzzle pieces around to see where things fit. Notice the Resistance that comes up.

* This ten-day series is designed to help you kickstart a new way of approaching your job or career. Over ten days, we’ll explore how to look objectively at the job/career situation you’re in, and clarify where to go next. For some, that might mean not leaving a job but drastically improving it in some meaningful way. For others, this series will provide some help with clarifying your next career move or pave the way to a transition. You’re strongly encouraged to complete all ten steps, in order, to see what answers you arrive at.

Badda-bing, Badda-boom! You have now…

1.) Written out your ideal day, from start to finish

2.) Identified the most important qualities of that ideal day.

(If you haven’t done these first two steps and want to see the previous days, click the “job suckage” category to the left of this entry)

Today, Day Three, it’s time to get pro-active.

Exercise: Brainstorm at least 3 different ways that each quality could some how be incorporated into your current job situation. Brainstorm solutions even if you think that they aren’t likely to happen (note: fire-bombing is not an option).

For instance, perhaps you work for a large corporate entity and you have identified that “creativity” is a quality to bring into your ideal day. Perhaps you are a receptionist, and the idea that you will ever be able to fulfill your longing to become a mixed-media artist while somehow sitting at that desk seems like it’s a total pipe dream. The goal with this exercise is to bring the quality of creativity into your current workspace, because bringing the qualities that are important to you into your current job will make the job seem just a smidge better. It empowers you to create the life you want, with the circumstances you’ve got–and that is Powerful with a big, phat-ass “P.”

Here are some possible brainstorms for such a hypothetical situation:

1.) make art on my lunch break

2.) organize people from work into a monthly art group

3.) carry around art in my wallet/purse/briefcase and look at it often

4.) creatively answer the phone–make it a game to see how many creative ways I can think of to make everyone I talk to feel really great as a result of talking to me

5.) create a piece of artwork, scan it, set it as my desktop screensaver.

Those are just a few random ideas for one quality–creativity. Brainstorm at least three ideas for each quality you’d like to bring into your current job/workplace. The value of how the small things add up is best explained in a quote I heard once. A CEO had turned around a failing company and people asked him how he did it. He replied, “It’s not that we did one thing, 100% better. We did 100 things, just 1% better.”

Lots of “1% betters” can add up to “100% better.”

Now why would you do this, if you know for absolute certain that you are in the WRONG JOB?

I encourage you to do this because this is the 100% fail-safe way to a.) test out whether the jobby-job is the real issue or the scapegoat issue for why life is not working, and b.) because it’s more powerful to make positive shifts even in situations you dislike than it is to wallow, and c.) because if you’re still in the WRONG JOB, theoretically you have not up and quit because you need to wait to do that…you need another job, or to build up your biz on the side, or for Obama to push universal health coverage through so that your kidlets won’t end up with untreated cases of rickets because you jumped ship from that employer HMO. And if you’re in the WRONG JOB for the next three months or year or whatever, why not make it a little more palatable? Why not build some character? Why wallow when there is possibility around every corner?

I’m kind of laughing at myself as I type this, because I absolutely know that when I started to do this work myself, I was all, “Are you kidding me?” It seemed like a colossal waste of time.

And now, on the other side of all of that, having taken these steps, I see how important it was that I acted with all of the integrity I could muster. I felt stronger and more powerful every time I made a choice to put my all into what I was doing. For someone having doubts, I’d ask–what would that feel like for you?

I’ll also add that tomorrow, I’m going to address the “Can’ts” that might have come up for some of you in response to this call for action.

Get started–no need to wait for the right time, the right MOOD, the right pencil, the right…just dive right in and brainstorm at least 3 solutions for each quality that you identified in the previous exercise. Left your qualities list at home? Lost it? The dog ate it? Start brainstorming just based on what you remember, and fill in the blanks later.

* This ten-day series is designed to help you kickstart a new way of approaching your job or career. Over ten days, we’ll explore how to look objectively at the job/career situation you’re in, and clarify where to go next. For some, that might mean not leaving a job but drastically improving it in some meaningful way. For others, this series will provide some help with clarifying your next career move or pave the way to a transition. You’re strongly encouraged to complete all ten steps, in order, to see what answers you arrive at.

Congrats, you’ve arrived at Day Two. If you haven’t already read and completed the exercise from Day One, head over there first and see what’s the what before reading further–yesterday’s practice builds on today’s practice.  Click the link on the left under Categories that says “job suckage.”

Okay–Day Two–so I’m sure many of you may have noticed that there is this thing we do in our modern day society where we get sucked into media advertising and think that if we had SomeThing or SomeThings, we’d be happy. Even though we “get” that it’s all a lie, a funny thing happens on the way to the Circus–we buy yet another book or pair of pretty shoes.

Media research has shown again and again that when we buy Things, we envision that the having of the Thing will confer upon us certain qualities that we associate with the Thing. Clothing is an easy example–branding is so obvious. What’s the branding of a store like The Gap compared to a store like Bebe? If you buy something from The Gap, you’re probably imagining that you’ll take on certain qualities such as looking streamlined and being comfortable. The clothing, of course, does not actually DO this–it’s just an idea we have. And if you get something from Bebe? You’re probably imagining how hot you’ll look. Yet again–it’s just an idea. The clothing does not automatically make you hot.

So we have tendencies to buy Things that are either ideas or image boosters. The book (ideas) and the pair of pretty shoes (image boosters) can be an excellent accompaniment to the ride, but they won’t get you as far as tapping into the qualities and going after the qualities rather than the stuff that we think will get us those qualities.

For example–I’ll just out myself here–I have been known to go through a particularly difficult stretch  in my life and then go out and get a new book, thinking that that’s what will help. That book might promise to organize my life in five easy steps, or teach me positive communication tools, or get me on a new enlightened path to meditation. I buy the book, then read part of the book, then my funk passes so maybe I don’t even finish the book.

It was never about the book.

I bought that book because of the qualities I decided it represented; I hoped that (perhaps by osmosis) I would have those qualities because I bought the book.

But–it was never about the book.

So yesterday you wrote about your ideal day, and part of that exercise was to write about how you felt throughout that day. That’s important, because for this next step I’d like you to review what you wrote and pick out ten qualities/feelings that stick out to you. Prioritize them if you feel so inclined, or organize them neatly in a binder (just don’t go out and buy a book on getting organized to complete this piece of the exercise…)

What does that have to do with stopping the job suckage?

Wait for it…wait for it… I have an idea that if you believe your job sucks, you’ve worked out all of the angles for why it sucks. We don’t need to spend more time there in the Suckage and arrive at those same answers. Looking at your ideal day and the qualities inherent within is part of turning things around at your current job, while you’re still there, or moving towards a new career path.

Tomorrow, I’ll connect these qualities very directly to the Job Suckage issue!

Stop the Job Suckage: Day One of Ten

* This ten-day series is designed to help you kickstart a new way of approaching your job or career. Over ten days, we’ll explore how to look objectively at the job/career situation you’re in, and clarify where to go next. For some, that might mean not leaving a job but drastically improving it in some meaningful way. For others, this series will provide some help with clarifying your next career move or pave the way to a transition. You’re strongly encouraged to complete all ten steps, in order, to see what answers you arrive at.

So, perhaps you have already decided that Your Job Sucks. As a human species, when we think something sucks, we tend to start noticing more and more of the suckage and less and less of what is actually working in our lives. To be fair, the suckage can feel like exactly that–something sucking the life out of you, slowly, via office politics, uninspiring work, threats of downsizing, budget cuts, an impossible workload.

So here’s where we’ll start with day one–what does a complete, whole, 100% fully alive day look like for you? When do you wake up? Where are you living? Who is living with you? What do you have for breakfast? How do you organize your time? How much time do you spend watching television or checking the internet? How much time do you spend with your kids, friends, partner? How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? What practices do you use to keep yourself grounded? At what time do you start and stop work each day? When are you eating meals? What does your house look like? Are you working from an outside office or an office in your home or for a local company or do you have no office at all–are you completely outdoors? How do you spend your leisure time in the evenings?

Exercise: Write down your ideal day, from start to finish. This would encompass a typical day of you living your ideal life with your ideal career and your ideal control over time and money. In particular, be sure to write not just what you DO with your day, but add in how you FEEL as you’re doing it. Are you feeling….alert, awake, peaceful, calm, inspired, overjoyed, passionate, excited, light, free, connected, authentic, joyful, creative…?

Don’t worry–I’m not going to ask you to burn sage and chant with this writing, but you will want to complete it before we get into Day Two!

P.S. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. Keep your hand moving. Don’t worry about forming a perfect composition. Don’t wait for the right time, the right writing notebook, the right pen, the right computer. Hop in and see what happens.

sneak peek of my office. pictures coming!

I noticed this thing that happened over the weekend, on Saturday. Basically, as Saturday afternoon wound into Saturday evening, I started to mentally run through what was coming up next. The thought process was something like, “Okay, so let’s see: today is Saturday, tomorrow’s Sunday. What’s going on tomorrow? Anything I need to get done before Monday?”

There was this immediate dip in my mood and then, following that, remembering that in fact I am not teaching this upcoming Monday, and this caused an immediate lift, a sense of palpable relief. My work for the past year has been to notice that dip as the weekend started to wind down, and to remind myself not to give it too much power.

It occurred to me that I’ve been doing that dance with the weekend for a loooong time–far longer than I’d like to admit to the blogosphere, in fact. Some weekends I was able to not give Monday too much power, and other weekends, I was far less successful. There are a lot of dimensions of this that I could write about and will go into some other time–for now, I want to write about how strange it feels to realize that there is nothing for me to “push against,” work-wise, any longer.

Does that make any sense?

There’s this “thing” about work–people like to complain about their jobs. In fact, it seems to me that jobs are an easy dumping ground for most of life’s problems. Jobs become the thing that constrain our time and “suck our souls.” As a coach, I’ve noticed that each of us–that includes me–have our defaults for where we’ll put our blame/drama, and work is often enough the place where we put that blame/drama because job titles don’t get hurt feelings when you call them names, the way our loved ones would if we were blaming them (though for all of us at times, that can be another source of blame).

This Monday is the first Monday of the rest of my life. I have an entirely different set of questions to confront about my working life, namely about what it means for me to be/feel productive.  There is no longer that thing to “push against,” in the work realm, so my work now becomes making sure that whatever tendencies I have to create drama or complain don’t get pushed into some other area just to fill the void.

I’m also sort of in awe of the spaciousness of that void–of how big it got. I don’t yet have words to explain what it is like to see what I’m passionate about move into center focus, instead of being something I work on on the sides. I’m already noticing that it feels really weird to manage my computer time–the computer is often enough a source of both work and entertainment. Where do the two overlap?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the steps it took for me to actually let go of my teaching job–because it was really, really hard–and realized that my coach and I approached it all in a very methodical way designed to be as in integrity as possible. I wrote down each piece and what I’m going to do is this–starting on January 1st, 2010, I’m going to post ten consecutive steps towards Stopping the Job Suckage.

For humor’s sake (when your job sucks, you need a little humor) we’re going to call it the Stopping the Job Suckage Challenge, and because I think it’s funny, I made badges:

Right-click and Save-As to download these images and then put them on your own blog or Facebook page. Link back to this so that people will know what in the world you’re talking about:
http://www.yourcourageouslife.com/blog/2009/12/20/a-case-of-the-mondays/

Over the course of  ten days, I’ll outline the ten steps that you can take to a.) help your job suck less right now (maybe even to the point where you’ll discover that you like it, after all), and b.) help you start moving towards what you really want to do if you find that that’s still where you’re at, and c.) help you to handle that process with as much personal integrity as possible.

I followed each of these steps and have felt incredibly grateful for it–my last night of teaching was a night where I found myself actually wanting to slow down and be totally present to the process. I have never before left a job with that feeling–in the past, I have been counting down the hours and minutes until I “could finally leave.”

What would it be like to actually look forward to going to work in the morning? It’s actually possible to take steps towards that. I have already heard from a lot of Courageous Year participants that starting a new line of work is something they’re wanting to do in this new year ( registration for The Courageous Year ends on January 1st!) and I’m excited about helping others find work that feeds their souls. I believe that if we were all approaching work differently and finding ways to help work feed us, the world would be a very different place.

By the way, part of Courageous Living is–absolutely–doing work that feeds your soul. There are ten days remaining to get a $200 discount on the April Courageous Living Retreat in San Francisco, CA (total cost: $400 if you register a deposit by January 1). In addition to beautiful sunsets, our own private house, catered meals by an amazing chef, walking to the beach, and all sorts of Courageous schwag, health counselor Valerie Tookes and photographer Vivienne McMaster will be participating in the retreat as well as offering free consults or a mini-photo session. Learn more on the retreats page.

Come Alive ~ Courageous Living Retreats from Kate Swoboda on Vimeo.

Let’s Just Be Real ~ Dec 15, 2009 from Kate Swoboda on Vimeo.

I wanted to make another video, but have had an idea for a different one floating around in the noggin for awhile and it wasn’t this one–not this topic, not this informal. So I thought I’d just “riff” a bit about what’s been up lately, and then somehow that turned into me talking about my dislike of the word “blog” and then when I started getting honest about a really shit day I’d had lately, I related a little vignette about the intersection of life coaching and four-letter words.

And that will have me writing something at some point about how much I also dislike the term life coaching, but how I stick with it because it’s the easiest thing to explain to someone. But that? That is for another day.

For now, enjoy. It’s ten minutes, but I think I chose some pretty appropriate background music!

Katrin, you were the winner of the most recent Keri Smith giveaway. Please contact me by Wednesday–I want to get things out to you before Christmas. If I haven’t heard by Wednesday evening, I’ll head to the random number generator and give it another go (kindly!).

So before you watch the video, I’d like to explain it.

Basically, I was thinking about the New Year, the Courageous Year, New Year’s resolutions, the whole bit. And I was thinking about how something that could be really positive often just becomes a measuring stick for self-hate, for how we could do it better, or as evidence for all the ways we’ve “failed” already.

I was thinking that this is kinda b.s. (because it is). I was thinking that what I really wanted was just to tear up/do away with all of that old negative stuff and instead step into something new.

I feel the need to explain because you’ll see things in this video like, “Lose 10 pounds,” and the thing is, I think that it’s totally fine if someone wants to lose 10 pounds (ever notice how there’s this weird backlash now against working on yourself, like the most evolved place one can be is to be “above” working on themselves? I’m all about accepting myself as-is while also acknowledging that there are spaces where I want to grow, spaces where I default to old habits that no longer serve me). It’s fine if someone wants to lose ten pounds or forgive their mother or find more time to exercise–but I continually like to ask whether there are ways of stepping into a bigger or more authentic vision around this, one that brings into the circle the idea of PLAY, and keeping things loose, and self-care.

The be kinder, be more patient, be more be more be more messages…I just loved tearing it all up. It was deeeeeelicious to tear up those messages–I highly recommend it. Just write down all of the messages that you feel yourself pressured to live up to, and then let them rip!

(don’t worry; I purchase 100% post-consumer content recycled paper, and all of this paper was recycled after I made the video!).

So that’s my explanation for all of that–now I commence with showing you the video!

Hail to the Good Things from Kate Swoboda on Vimeo.