Look–if you’re reading this, you already know whether or not you’re someone who needs to work on finishing things you start ,

–or if you’re someone who is good at finishing things you start and actually, that’s a perfectionistic whip that you lash yourself with.

This post is for the people who feel stuck in the latter camp–the people who are good at finishing things you start , but you know that somehow it doesn’t feel good even though it might look good.

You really, really need to hear this: Your worth as a human being isn’t defined by the things that you finish.

I won a lot of awards, when I was in school, and not just the attendance awards. I was that chick who always took on extra work. I over-enrolled in classes. I volunteered for not just one, but two causes. I didn’t have one major in college, I had two–and a minor. I’ve written books. I’ve gracefully exited jobs after giving the preferred amount of notice.

Finishing things–I’ve received a lot of external validation for that, but it’s not what has made my heart sing. It’s not what has made me truly happy. And yet, for years, I kept on starting and finishing things, mostly so that I could keep on getting that external validation when my own internal well felt drained.

If you’re good at finishing things you start , you might need to get unhooked from the trap of continuing to start things that need finishing.

If you’re good at finishing things you start , you might be like I was–really stuck in external validation.

If you’re good at finishing things you start, you might notice that you’re white-knuckling your way through, and that’s not a “win,” in life.

Yes–finishing things you start does speak to fortitude, your ability to see something through, and your capacity for handling challenges and still keeping going, anyway.

Just make sure that it’s not what you do, to avoid feeling the stuff that would arise if you allowed a big, empty space to open up in your life once you stopped all of that doing-doing-doing. Make sure that you love you, regardless of whether you start or finish anything, ever.

Make sure that you know what it feels like to leave something undone, and still be okay with yourself when you look in the mirror.

Big love,