(This is a guest post from Jamie Ridler
“Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, “you owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.” Hafiz of Shiraz
I’m in love with you.
Each morning, as I pad into my studio and look out the window at the passing seasons reflected in the backyard tree and our expanse of sky, I fall in love again.
Each night, as I curl into my cozy bed, loved husband by my side, safe and sound, loved and loving, having lived a full day, I fall in love again.
It’s not always an easy love. Some days are dark. Some nights are long.
Sometimes I despair, feel alone, get enraged.
I disappoint and am disappointed.
But you help me to not give up by offering a crocus or a kindness, fresh coffee and the smell of fresh-cut grass, public radio and public libraries, the beach and the wind, raspberries, theatre and smiles from strangers. Not to mention Paris. And chandeliers. And cozy comforters. And cookies.
I could go on but it all comes down to this:
I love you.
And I want you to know, I’m here for you.
I’m going to show up every day. Sometimes foggy, sometimes sunny, sometimes stormy, but every day, I will show up.
I’m going to offer crocuses and kindness. I’m going smile at strangers. I’m going to offer my gifts as freely as you offer yours.
And I’ll be as honest with my failings, so we can grow and heal together.
Because even though this isn’t always an easy love, it’s the love of a lifetime. We’re in it together, world.
I love you.
Jamie Ridler is a creative living coach and the director of Jamie Ridler Studios. From the Creative Living with Jamie podcast to the Sparkles e-course, Jamie’s coaching helps women find the courage and confidence to embrace their creative selves so they can be the star they are.
Allow me, will you?
First, you’re not discontented and unhappy because of life circumstances, because of how your parents raised you, because of how much money you have, or (solely) because of your biochemistry.
Those are factors, and nothing more.
Here’s my theory, in all its frank glory: You’re discontented because you’re actually really fucking great, but you’re terrified of your greatness. In response to that greatness, all that crazy-amazing potential, fear makes you shut down.
In short? You’re not choosing your greatness. You’re not acknowledging it. You’re not cultivating more of it.
What’s more? You know you’re doing this, to yourself, and knowing this feels terrible.
So that’s why people feel so wretched, and that’s why they numb out, and that’s why they beat themselves up, and that’s why they do the crazy nonsense that they do–start drama, or let their health go, or numb out, or…
What to do about it?
I don’t need to tell you; you already know what it is–for you.
For some people, it’s “get my ass to yoga class, already.”
For others, it’s “time to quit procrastinating on that meditation practice.”
For others, it’s going to be “I’m no longer blaming other people for my crap.”
For others it’s going to show up as “That book I always wanted to write? I’m logging off of the computer right now, and starting, and I don’t give a shit how terrible it is. I’m writing.”
For others, it’s going to be: “Let me lay down on the bed and breathe, and quit doing-doing-doing all of the time.”
You already know your truth. There are a gazillion different personal growth products and people and offerings out there that can certainly help you, but I suggest: start by trusting your own True North.
Prepare to amaze yourself.
Here’s how bad-ass Brene Brown is:
she takes a topic like shame, one that no one really wants to talk about even though they know, deep down, that it’s very prevalent in their lives, and she makes it okay to talk about, examine deeply, and work through.
It takes a special kind of bad-assery to make that happen, and her latest book, Daring Greatly, is no exception to that. It’s an honest look at the default responses that we have to shame, how we bury looking at those responses, and how we can stop.
It’s devoid of self-help 1-2-3 step plans for never again having an imperfect moment. It’s a book about releasing the impulse to strive, strive, strive, and instead look at how to truly be exactly who you are, where you are, owning all parts of that.
This is the piece that is SO important: owning all parts.
OWNING all parts.
Owning ALL parts.
Brene Brown gets it–she gets that it’s the very culture of the self-help industry, always prodding us to be “ever better” that feeds directly into the shame cycles of “not enough.”
It’s in alignment with what I try to express about courage–that practicing courage does not mean disowning fear. It does not mean rejecting inner critics and telling them to shut up and go away.
This is a book about having richer and riskier conversations in the name of forging true connections. This is a book about using connection with yourself in order to forge connections with others.
Then head here to get your copy of Daring Greatly.