I was at a party, recently. At this party, collectively, there was a best-selling author. Someone else had just inked a book deal. A few someones were pregnant. Someone else lead a sold-out mastermind. Someone else had major speaking gigs. Someone else had had their work featured on the Oprah website. Someone else had just had their website redone. Several someones were leading sold-out workshops.
I was looking around, sipping my wine, taking it all in: “WOW. Wow, wow, wow. Look at all the amazing stuff these people are up to. Wow, wow, wow. These people are exactly what the world needs, and I’m so crazy excited for everything they’re bringing to it.”
I felt lifted up and inspired by the fact that I was in a room full of women who were bringing the best of themselves to all parts of their lives.
Let me repeat that: they are bringing the best of themselves, to all parts of their lives.
Then it hit me what a long road I’ve traveled, to be in a room like this and…to not compare. To not feel less-than. To be more focused on the awe-inspiring fact of what all of these women are creating, than on comparing my own success or wishing I had more.
Here’s the thing: there is a shift that you can undertake, and it starts with realizing that everyone who has all of the elements of life that you wish to have, is not taking something away from you. There’s not less for you, because they have theirs.
They are the proof that it can be done.
Understanding that, is the difference between being in a room full of women who have done things that I haven’t done and celebrating them, versus being in that room and feeling cut off from them.
Jealousy is worth listening to. It gets a bad rap. It’s a sign of desires that are crying out to be unearthed.
It’s also really beautiful to look around and see the places where all these years of practicing courage are actually adding up to something really beneficial: not needing to be better, not needing to be more, not needing to be admired, and certainly not needing to compete.
Sometimes, when you’re feeling particularly frightened and success feels particularly long in coming, it can be easy to get resentful or dismissive of people who remind you that the world is an abundant place.
But it is. Everyone at this party started out with the same bare bones ingredients: a big dream, a helluva lot of passion, a shit-ton of fear, and the willingness to practice courage.
Someone else’s success isn’t taking anything away from you, because the world is abundant and the opportunities for you are infinite.
In fact, the success of others is a contribution to you. It paves the way. It’s proof that everything you ever wanted actually is possible.
Next time you notice jealousy arising, celebrate it. Celebrate your desire. Celebrate the other person and their accomplishments. Have another sip of wine, and bask in living in a world that is so full of so many people who have so much love to offer.
How we use money is a reflection of how powerful we feel.
Before a life coaching client begins working with me, I give them The Courageous Questions, a deep inquiry into who they are in the right-here, right-now. I ask about money on the pre-session questions. I want to know how they feel about it and what role it plays in a client’s life. Sure, I’m asking in some part because I want to do the ethical thing and ensure that coaching is not going to be a strain that their finances simply can’t take. I’m also wanting to get a bit of insight into their relationship to their own personal power.
I realized that Kate’s work was hugely powerful and that she would do a far better job of getting people to think about their relationship with money than I would, so I asked if she’d be part of the CLP and she agreed. Mmm-hmmm. That’s right.
Take a few minutes to watch this piece of our interview, to get started--I’m asking Kate what to do when you decide that you’re going to shift and act powerfully with money…and then the naysayers chime in to tell you that you aren’t being realistic. How do you respond?
The Drama Diet: Quite possibly the only “diet” that ever feels good to start.
I don’t support the diet industry, preying on making people feel insecure in order to purchase a product, especially when those products/regimens/systems ultimately hurt people and don’t fix what’s really at the core. When I’m using the term “diet” here, I’m using it in the context of “cutting out what doesn’t work.”
Drama doesn’t work.
Earlier this year, I had a “fuck it” moment and in a very organic way I said to myself: “I’m going on a drama diet.” What followed thereafter was a systematic evaluation of where I was both tolerating drama and perpetuating it with my responses. I’ve left no stone unturned in examining the drama. I’ve taken loads of stuff to Goodwill, stopped justifying why it was or wasn’t okay to take a particular action and just gone with “It doesn’t feel good, and that’s a good enough reason,” told the truth and told it clean, and I’ve stopped hustling to make relationships/business ventures/commutes/collaborations work when they just…didn’t.
And somewhere along the way, I found more time for sleep and meal planning and exercise, and managed to do the same amount of work in less time.
Want to get on board?
I thought about creating a paid course that helped people to systematically examine and remove drama from their lives. Then my internal gyroscope said, “Nope. Feels like drama. Feels like hustlin’. Feels like taking on too much, because I’ve got other big things happening.”
Also, something within me recognizes that for a great many people out there, a certain level of drama is being created by the never-ending, constant, and ceaseless taking of courses, e-programs, signing up for workshops, reading of self-help articles…and on and on.
So here are the details. Check yourself. Is this course right for you?
- The course runs for four weeks, starting September 5th
- To participate, you’ll need to be a YCL subscriber. If you’re already a YCL subscriber, you’ll automatically get the course, starting September 5th. If you’re not a current YCL email subscriber, click one of the hot pink icons within this blog post to sign up.
- You’ll want to make sure you click the opt-in email. If you don’t, you won’t get the course.
- Are you a Gmail user? It’s also helpful if you pull the YCL newsletters into your “Primary” tab, so that you don’t have to remember to check your Newsletters/Promotions tab. Everyone else? It’s helpful if you mark any messages that come through as “not spam” just to ensure that everything arrives in your inbox.
- Plan to set aside 30 minutes each week for the lessons, which will arrive every Thursday in September (the 5th, 12th, 19th, and 26th).
- Do a gut check: Is participating in this course going to be more drama? It’s okay to sit this one out, you know.
- Want to get others involved? Click to tweet: “Join me and @katecourageous this September for the free Drama Diet e-course.” http://clicktotweet.com/OymQS
Ready to join? Head here: http://www.yourcourageouslife.com/welcome-to-your-courageous-life/.