wiggling out

wiggling out

Sometimes, I want to “wiggle out.” I want to pretend like my aggression isn’t as bad as so-and-so’s aggression. I have caught myself having the thought before, “Well, that might have been the wrong thing to say, but at least I work on...
How to become more independent

How to become more independent

I used to be an English professor. Every semester, I’d a lesson on thesis statements–what they are, what they must contain, and approaches to writing them. At the beginning of the semester, students asked me if their thesis statements “looked okay.” I...
Fear routines (and how to stop denying them)

Fear routines (and how to stop denying them)

Yes, I avow that I have done all of this in pursuit of trying to relieve pain and find my J.O.Y. joy: I have been in and out of therapist’s offices; perused the self-help aisles and read the self-help books. In my twenties I was on at least ten different...
How to accept your life

How to accept your life

I wanted to talk more about this “making things into problems” thing–specifically, where it comes from, and what we’re doing when we make things into problems. And, I wanted to talk about how to accept your life in a way that’s deeply real and pragmatic....
put this on the stop-doing list

put this on the stop-doing list

Stop-doing lists? Love ‘em. Like reverse psychology, they get me off the treadmill of do, do, do–add add add–and into the space of letting go. (Really, most of us tend to be better with shedding than we do with adding. Reduction, rather than...