in praise of “Just who do you think you are?”

“Just who the hell do you think you are?” Someone asks you this, intending to take you down a peg. Or the inner critic, feeling insecure and nervous and afraid, dishes this line up just at the moment when you were starting to relax and have fun. But the thing is–I’ve been learning to really […]


boundaries are about love

Boundaries are about love–this is something to take care not to overlook, especially for those people who know that their version of boundaries has been to put up an ice wall tough enough to withstand global warming. The conversation about boundaries often circles around either being overly-boundaried or under-boundaried, with nary a point in between […]


teflon, ducks, and 12-step groups: why everyone’s under the influence of something

“You gotta put on your teflon,” Matthew, my coach/guru would say to me, sometimes. What he meant was that when someone in front of me was spinning, venting, angry, taking their shit out on me, the most loving thing to do was to: a.) stay present, and b.) not attack back, and c.) lovingly protect […]