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Be where you are (even if you’re just treading water)

Be where you are (even if you’re just treading water)

What we are used to, when it comes to courage, is pushing: pushing to get to the “next level.” Pushing to create your “big thing.” Pushing to grow, to achieve, to be a better version of yourself than the version that you were, last year. Innovate, innovate,...

overcoming fear of change

overcoming fear of change

Someone asked me once, “How can I start overcoming fear of change in my life? It seems like that’s the hardest part—not the change itself, but the fear of change.” I think she’s right, and overcoming fear of change (the anticipation of, and uncertainty about, what is...

how to change your life

how to change your life

I was thinking about this question of how to change your life when I ran across this quote: “Resistance to change is a natural part of the human condition. We all want progress, but we don’t like change, especially change imposed from the outside. No matter how...

Your healing cannot be dependent on an apology

I used to be someone who thought that I couldn’t move forward, until the other person had apologized. They did me wrong, they failed me, they knew better yet didn’t do better—and, the cherry on top of a big pile o’ shit? They refused to apologize, or they offered a...

Raise the bar for what you will allow

Raise the bar for what you will allow

This is the problem that I see myself, and most women I know, struggle with: tolerating what is in fact unworkable and ultimately, intolerable. The job with the boss who asks that we come in late even after we’ve already said that coming in late has compromised our...

how to be a better person

how to be a better person

For far too long, I was mostly consumed with how to "be a better person." It was what I would have said to you if you sat with me for a long time over steaming cups of tea and we peeled back the layers, one after another: I just want to be a better person. Better than...