I’m asking that you just stop. Let’s all stop.
Let’s completely and totally stop, and just flip the script a bit. Pretend the following words are written by you, to you:
I just want you to know that I’m really aware of all the places where I fail or screw things up, even if I pretend otherwise. In fact I’m so aware, that it hurts in places I’m afraid to name.
I’d enormously appreciate it if you’d trust that any places where I have rough edges are unintentional, and that I’m just doing the best I can.
Now let’s start living bigger with that.
Let’s rewrite this, pretending it’s a letter written from every single person you encounter, expressly to you.
Let’s say that that letter is from the woman you saw snapping at her kids in the supermarket, or your partner who just flaked out on something they said they’d do, or your mother who just said something hurtful. Let’s start applying this to the internet, the hasty judgements of someone’s blog post or tweet, the decision to write that person off in an instant.
Let’s pretend that you’re right at that moment where you’re going to write off the woman as a bad mother, or remind your partner of how many times he’s screwed up before, or maybe you’re not saying it aloud, but you sure are thinking it would be nice to tell your mother to shut up.
Let’s take a deep breath right before you send a nasty email or post something denouncing someone else on the internet.
“I’d enormously appreciate it if you’d trust that any places where I have rough edges are unintentional, and that I’m just doing the best I can.”
Let’s all… just…stop with writing off our co-habitants on this earth as beyond hope, or as being the same person they were a year ago, or as a jerk who deserves to be judged until they finally see the error of their ways.
Writing people off, filtering them through the same old tired lens of the past and unkind judgment are just not working at getting the job done.
What’s the job? Oh, you know–having us peacefully exist together. Love. Kindness. All of that fluffy stuff.
A little compassion is in order–or, let’s go big with this–a lot of compassion is in order. We’re talking remembering the concept of glass houses, all of that.
Muster up more love than you can imagine. Go ahead and start with giving compassion to you–it’s not selfish, and in fact it’s the best place to start. Then start noticing that moment when you’re about to judge someone as less-than. It doesn’t matter how convinced you are that they could do it better.
Fact: maybe they could do it better, but right now, they’re not. Deal.
And P.S. Sometimes, you don’t do it better even when you “know better,” too. Perhaps an example of such a time would be in those moments when you’re aware that compassion is an option, but you choose to judge someone anyway.
Sit with that place for a moment–the place where you are human and know better but don’t always do it better.
I’m talking about us coming together in a circle of compassion around you, as well. Loving you up. Letting you know that we’re willing to stop the cycle of writing you off, assuming you’ll never change, or trying to judge you until you break.
So let’s just bring on the compassion; let’s make it the only game in town.
Go forth, love big.