A ton of overwhelm comes from caring what people think.
Brene Brown‘s book, I Though It Was Just Me tells the story of the time that some friends were horrified by the idea of a parent bringing store-bought cookies to a school event (that equals: pressure to really perform by baking cookies, even if you don’t have time. That leads to overwhelm).
My clients tell me about times when their mothers or fathers gave them one look from across a room that told them, without a single word, that they were in deep trouble (that equals: pressure to do what you’re told, or else face someone else’s wrath. That leads to overwhelm).
Social media is all about what other people think (which is why so many overwhelmed people take digital sabbaticals!).
If caring what other people think is a major part of overwhelm–well, then, it’s definitely part of Breathing Space.
It’s a myth that overwhelm is about time-management and discipline. If that weren’t a myth, we could all white-knuckle our way to peace by just following the “right” steps, getting the “right” day planners.
The trouble is, we feel the pressure of what other people think if we start to take some of those things off of our to-do lists, or if we aren’t as responsive with email.
I’m all for respect; we need to respect one another.
We also need to stop caring what other people think.
I have a hunch that you’re a great person, someone who genuinely wants to do good in the world and who doesn’t want to hurt anyone.
So with that as the basis behind your actions, I’d like to ask you to stop caring what other people think.
Care about what you think–of you. Care about your integrity. Care how you feel about yourself when you do or don’t make a particular choice–but don’t care what others think and have that as the basis for your actions.
That’s not where the gold lies!
If you’ve spent a lifetime caring what other people think, and that’s gotten, well, overwhelming…
…I just might have the course for you. ;-)
Some Breathing Space participants have shared with me that they’ve made it a personal goal to finish Breathing Space with better boundaries around doing what others want them to do. Meaning: They want to be clearer about that line between what they’re responsible for, and where others need to take responsibility for themselves.
If you’ve spent a lifetime thinking that you’d better make sure that you keep yourself in check so that others aren’t upset, Breathing Space is where you need to be.
The early-bird registration discount for Breathing Space ends on August 15th–
so get on the list and then check your inbox for the follow-up email with registration information (sometimes they find their way into the SPAM folder, so you might need to look there, too).