I was at a party, recently. At this party, collectively, there was a best-selling author. Someone else had just inked a book deal. A few someones were pregnant. Someone else lead a sold-out mastermind. Someone else had major speaking gigs. Someone else had had their work featured on the Oprah website. Someone else had just had their website redone. Several someones were leading sold-out workshops.
I was looking around, sipping my wine, taking it all in: “WOW. Wow, wow, wow. Look at all the amazing stuff these people are up to. Wow, wow, wow. These people are exactly what the world needs, and I’m so crazy excited for everything they’re bringing to it.”
I felt lifted up and inspired by the fact that I was in a room full of women who were bringing the best of themselves to all parts of their lives.
Let me repeat that: they are bringing the best of themselves, to all parts of their lives.
Then it hit me what a long road I’ve traveled, to be in a room like this and…to not compare. To not feel less-than. To be more focused on the awe-inspiring fact of what all of these women are creating, than on comparing my own success or wishing I had more.
Here’s the thing: there is a shift that you can undertake, and it starts with realizing that everyone who has all of the elements of life that you wish to have, is not taking something away from you. There’s not less for you, because they have theirs.
They are the proof that it can be done.
Understanding that, is the difference between being in a room full of women who have done things that I haven’t done and celebrating them, versus being in that room and feeling cut off from them.
Jealousy is worth listening to. It gets a bad rap. It’s a sign of desires that are crying out to be unearthed.
It’s also really beautiful to look around and see the places where all these years of practicing courage are actually adding up to something really beneficial: not needing to be better, not needing to be more, not needing to be admired, and certainly not needing to compete.
Sometimes, when you’re feeling particularly frightened and success feels particularly long in coming, it can be easy to get resentful or dismissive of people who remind you that the world is an abundant place.
But it is. Everyone at this party started out with the same bare bones ingredients: a big dream, a helluva lot of passion, a shit-ton of fear, and the willingness to practice courage.
Someone else’s success isn’t taking anything away from you, because the world is abundant and the opportunities for you are infinite.
In fact, the success of others is a contribution to you. It paves the way. It’s proof that everything you ever wanted actually is possible.
Next time you notice jealousy arising, celebrate it. Celebrate your desire. Celebrate the other person and their accomplishments. Have another sip of wine, and bask in living in a world that is so full of so many people who have so much love to offer.