You think to yourself, I’ll do that–take action–when I feel more “ready.”
In other words, you’ll do it when it feels safer.
I know that it can feel tempting to go this route. Certainly, it seems easier to tell ourselves that when we put X,Y, and Z into place, things will be different.
But. But. But.
Safety is a delusion. There is no “safety.” At any given moment–whether you take action in the name of your dreams, or not–things can go wrong. Spending a lot of time creating safety is not a road paved with guarantees. In fact, it just wastes time.
I want a fire lit up under your ass, where there’s some recognition that Yeah, hey, it’s scary–along with the recognition that not taking action doesn’t make that scary part go away.
There are no free rides. No one who steps out, risks being seen, or fully loves and accepts themselves does this without a moment of fear, or many moments of fear. It doesn’t matter how much time or money or youth or experience or beauty someone has.
What matters is that they take action. The action they take might not be of the to-do list variety. “Action” as we define it here might not have anything to do with a big, flashy display of hustle-hustle-hustle. It might start with simply being present to what you feel and choosing to stay with that until a clear action step presents itself. That’s an entirely different scenario than simply running from what you desire, in the face of fear.
Instead of trying to feel “safe” before you take action, what probably makes the biggest difference when you’re taking action is that you don’t talk to yourself like the jerk with the whistle, the derogatory athletic coach who berates his players into doing better.
The yelling, the screaming, the berating? Not necessary. Not helpful. If you want to feel “safer” in any sense while you take a risk, talk to yourself in a way that creates more confidence, not a fear of failing.
I know that it’s common for sitcoms to make fun of statements of positive regard, but…jesus. Look around at the world. There’s plenty of negativity. So, yeah–if you taking action comes down to looking at yourself in the mirror and saying “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough,” then I vote…fucking do it. Do whatever it takes to take action and stop “thinking about” taking action. Even if you make a mistake, you’ll get farther than if you just keep “getting ready to” take action.
Do whatever it takes to build your positive self regard into something more powerful than constantly hiding out.
Creating safety isn’t the first step to making your dreams come true.
You might never “feel ready.” It’s not realistic to expect not to feel fear. Take action or risk being stuck in the delusion of safety. Remember, it is a delusion. There is no “safety.”
What might be realistic and more helpful for nurturing your dreams, is not talking to yourself like the jerk with the whistle.
And that would be the kind of action that actually moves you through fear, and to the other side.