I’ll do that when it feels a bit safer.
I know that it can feel tempting to go this route. Certainly, it seems easier to tell ourselves that when we put X,Y, and Z into place, things will be different.
But. But. But.
Contrary to illusion (or delusion) spending a lot of time creating safety is not a road paved with guarantees.
Click to tweet that: http://clicktotweet.com/dQhnd
Here’s a great way to summarize my work: I want a fire lit up under your ass, where there’s some recognition that Yeah, hey, it’s scary–along with the recognition that not taking action doesn’t make that scary part go away.
There are no free rides. No one who steps out, risks being seen, or fully loves and accepts themselves does this without a moment of fear, or many moments of fear. It doesn’t matter how much time or money or youth or experience or beauty someone has.
What matters is that they take action. The action they take might not be of the to-do list variety. It might start with simply being present to what you feel and choosing to stay with that until a clear action step presents itself. That’s an entirely different scenario than simply running from what you desire, in the face of fear.
What probably makes the biggest difference when you’re taking action is that you don’t talk to yourself like the jerk with the whistle, the derogatory athletic coach who berates his players into doing better. The yelling, the screaming, the berating? Not necessary. Not helpful.
The positive, affirming words? Actually–yes–much more helpful. I know that it’s common for sitcoms to make fun of statements of positive regard, but jesus. Look around at the world. There’s plenty of negativity. So, yeah–if it’s down to looking at yourself in the mirror and saying “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough,” then I vote…fucking do it.
Build your positive self regard into something more powerful than the mediocrity of constantly hiding out.
You’re not being the jerk with the whistle unless…well, unless you’re being the jerk with the whistle. Creating safety isn’t the first step to making your dreams come true.
It’s not realistic to expect not to feel fear. What might be realistic is not talking to yourself like the jerk with the whistle.
And that would be the kind of action that actually moves you through fear, and to the other side.