In the Courageous Living Program, I talk about orienting your life to prioritize what matters, most.
When you get clear on your vision for your life and start to prioritize that, the ruminating and second-guessing and all of the “trying to figure it out” stuff of life starts to fall away.
Here is priority #1 in my life: my kid. My sweet little daughter who just basically wants to smile and interact with people and be curious about the world.
Like any mom will tell you, this means that sometimes, things can get complicated. This can get particularly complicated if you run a business.
It hit me how complicated this could be when I looked around and realized that I was not just running Your Courageous Life. I am also the Editor of the Coaching Blueprint.com website, and the creator and lead facilitator of the Courageous Living Coach Certification.
And somewhere in all of that, I’m caring for my child. And, just like you–doing all the stuff like laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, taking my car for an oil change, grocery shopping, making dinner, and hopefully spending some time with my husband. And somewhere in there, hopefully remembering to take my probiotics and use the foam roller and once a week I’d like to get to yoga.
What Getting Clear Allows
But here’s what I’m clear on: Priority #1. My kid.
And so here’s what hit me on one of those average, ordinary days when my brain was buzzing with emails that needed to be answered and questions that the life coach trainees had posted to our private boards and I wanted to remember to transfer the laundry from the washer to the dryer and I had an oil change:
Am I choosing the task or the moment ?
I could feel that tight feeling across my chest and in my shoulders, the feeling that indicates that my breathing is short and shallow.
I was hustling to get the diaper bag packed and I hadn’t had lunch yet and– and– and–
I look at my daughter. She smiles at me. She’s in absolutely no rush.
I soften. I smile back.
I could hustle to get to that oil change appointment right on time. Or to see if I can fit in one more laundry swap or one more email check before we leave.
But you know, when I look back on my life, I really don’t want to say that those are the things that I chose.
I don’t want to be remembered as “Kate, who always made it to her oil changes on time.”
I’d like my daughter to always remember that I took time to stop. To breathe. To soften. To smile.
I’d like her to learn how to do that for herself, too. She’ll only learn that if I model it, first*.
The Task, or The Moment?
So this is my mantra on those busy-busy-busy, go-go-go kinds of days:
The task, or the moment? Task, or moment? Task, or moment?
Note that this choice takes a certain level of faith and trust. Trust that the laundry will get done (and faith that you’ll survive, if it doesn’t). Trust that your business is going to be fine (and faith that you’ll survive, if it’s not).
There’s no short-cut to trust or faith. No one has any “better circumstances” that make trust and faith easier a place from which to live.
It’s a choice, just like any other.
The task, or the moment?
I know what my #1 priority is. As long as I’m honoring that priority, I wake up each morning feeling proud of myself, living my life in integrity.
It can be a courageous choice, but in the end–that’s what I call winning at life.
*Since I also want to model not inconveniencing others by bailing on commitments, this was a relatively simple fix–calling the service department to see if I could change my appointment. In a world where people abuse and mis-use self-help, this is also worth noting.