separating feelings from facts


Truth is subjective, not objective. Truth for me is different than truth, for you. “Truth” as we typically talk about it, is perspective.

We lose sight of that all too easily. We forget to separate feelings from facts.

Just because you feel like you can’t, like you’re a loser, like life is too overwhelming–doesn’t mean that this is the truth.

It means that it’s entirely possible that you can, that you’re not a loser, or that life only seems overwhelming.

Just because you think someone is doing something to you, or that what they said means XYZ, or that they are to blame, doesn’t mean that that is the truth.

It’s entirely possible that they aren’t doing anything to you, that what they said is being filtered through your interpretation (and you’re misunderstanding! eep!), and that whatever they say isn’t “the truth,” anyway.

It’s important to separate feelings from facts.


Walking the Line

It’s a delicate dance to walk that line of acknowledging the truth of what we feel and giving that its proper legitimacy, without projecting our truth onto the world, thinking that “that’s the way things are” or that our interpretation of someone else’s behavior is accurately representing what they did.

On one level, yes, when you feel it, it’s the “truth.” It’s your world, it’s what you know, and it matters that you feel what you feel.

On another level? Not separating feelings from facts is destructive. It’s the most destructive force that I know in relationships (just because someone feels that you did them wrong, for instance, doesn’t mean that you actually did–and how many miscommunications and misunderstandings arise from that place?).

When we get self-righteous, when we get angry and lose it, when we are gossiping or judgmental, when you quit on a dream, when you get so overwhelmed that you hide out in front of the television or the internet–what’s really happening, there?

What’s happening is that you’re reacting to a feeling. You’re taking your feelings as facts to such a degree that it’s actually limiting you.

I claim everything that I feel. It’s my life experience. My feelings are, on some level, my truth.

But they aren’t the entire truth. They aren’t the world’s truth. They aren’t the truth of that person over there.

So as soon as you/I/we notice that we’re taking what we feel to the point where we accuse, blame, deny, criticize, judge?

Let’s get a truth check going. It’s time to separate feelings from facts.