How we are alone

How we are alone is that we are only alone if we choose to be.

I remind myself of this, a lot. I have often felt lonely, even when someone else was in the same room. I have often felt that I was struggling with being too different.

When I’m triggered, I can go to a place of scarcity: all alone, no one, no one understands, no one sees me.

Those tender places are in all of us and I remember wondering what difference it made if I did any personal growth work, if at the end of the day I felt so alone.

What I’ve found from doing personal growth work is this:

I’m more conscious and present about my patterns (and that is everything);
I’m gentler when they rise up (and that is everything);
I work with what comes up (and that is everything);
I’m more forgiving of myself as someone who is alive and thus, in process (and that is everything); and…

I’m more connected to others, because I understand (finally) that all of the shit I deal with is shit you deal with, too.

We can find reasons to be “alone” in our lives at every turn. We can take every comment as a sign that we are not wanted.

We can find reasons to be full of ourselves—fulfilled by our own company—at every turn. We can take every moment as a sign that because we are alive, we must be wanted, there must be some reason for us to be here.

When I am triggered and feeling lonely, I really (really) want to call bullshit on that last part. I really (really) want to say that that’s not right, that’s not what this is about, that’s just a stupid lie to tell yourself to avoid feeling lonely.

What I’ve found from doing personal growth work is that what we tell ourselves from a place of fear is the lie.

I’m so glad to be with you in this game of living life big.