life coaching

You've Built a Life That “Works.” So Why Does It Feel Like This?

To outsiders, it probably looks like your life more than works.

You're capable, dependable, the one people can rely on. You've handled hard things. You've figured things out. You have, by most measurable standards, done well.

And lately — quietly — you've been aware of how thin the margin is.

You’re not “falling apart” or in crisis. More like... aware that you're on a tightrope. The life you've constructed, as solid as it looks, requires a level of constant management that's becoming harder to sustain. One more thing — the wrong week, the wrong conversation, the wrong amount of too much — could be the tipping point.

Also…you’re tired.

Like, really freaking tired.

Nobody Sees It. That's Part of What Makes It So Heavy.

There’s nothing biologically “wrong.” The kind of tired that you are is more than physical.

You haven't talked about this to most people. Maybe your partner knows, or a sister, or a closest friend who's gotten glimpses. But mostly you've kept it contained, called it “being so busy,” and kept showing up. Because that's what you do. That's who you are.

Except something has shifted.

You're not sure when it happened exactly. Somehow the version of you that could just push through and feel basically okay on the other side — she's getting harder to access. The exhaustion isn't lifting the way it used to. The relief from a good weekend or a finished project is shorter than it's ever been. And there's this low hum underneath everything that you've gotten very good at not listening to.

Something ALL of My Clients Have In Common? They’ve tried things.

You've tried things. Of course you have — you're someone who addresses problems.

You’ve already applied your best, most strategic thinking to reorganize your schedule, give yourself a break, or take things off of your plate.

You've read the books, done the work, taken time off. Some of it helped, for a while. Yet somehow, all the stress comes back, and the relief of any changes you make are short-lived. It’s frustrating as hell.

The Loop Is Exhausting. And Not Knowing Where to Turn Next Makes It Worse

Part of what gets so scary and exhausting about this loop of trying things, feeling temporarily better, and then exhausted, is that then you feel like you’ve exhausted all the options. There’s this blank, slightly terrifying question of what would even be different if you try something like coaching.

So how about we start here: I’m not obsessed with goal-setting.

You don't need to be able to picture exactly what change looks like.

That blank, open, uncertainty that feels so intimidating isn't evidence that you're too far gone or that nothing will work or that you've used up your chances at something different. It's actually where this work begins.

We don't start with a rigid destination in mind.

We start with you, exactly as you are right now, and we get curious about what's underneath the pattern — not to “fix” you, but to help you become more fully yourself.

What I Bet You Actually Want

You want a life where you trust in who you are, who you are becoming, and where you don’t feel so weighed down.

You want a life that’s spacious. A schedule with room, the ability to say “no” with your whole chest and not feel guilty later.

You want self-acceptance and freedom from constantly running laps around doing, performing, and getting things done.

You want the truth of who you are on the inside, to be how you actually live, on the outside.

That’s not a neat-and-tidy “goal” to set. It’s a way of being.

This Hasn’t Ever Been a Willpower Problem

What drives the cycle isn't a flaw. It's not a discipline problem or a mindset problem or a willpower problem. The perfectionism, the over-functioning, the constant management of all the stuff — these are adaptations. They made sense once. They probably kept you safe, or loved, or stable, at a point in your life when you needed them to.

They're running on old logic now, but because they're so woven into how you understand yourself, no amount of strategic reorganization touches them. You can't think your way out of a pattern that lives below thinking.

What Actually Changes This

What changes this isn't a new goal to commit to. It's a different relationship with yourself. This requires courage.

Gradually, through our coaching work, something shifts — not toward a tightly defined outcome you have to pre-imagine, but toward a way of being that's more genuinely yours. Less performance, less management, more of the actual you. It's something quieter and yet more durable, a confidence that feels solid at the core because it’s not performance.

“Shit, Kate. You Just Described Me…”

If any part of you has been reading this page and thinking, “That’s me! How does she know?”

Oh, friend—I can talk about it so clearly, because I know. Like… I know. You know?

I've been a coach since 2006. In twenty years of working with women — sharp, self-aware, high-functioning women who had already tried everything — I've watched this shift happen.

My work draws heavily on humanistic psychology — particularly the person-centered principles of Carl Rogers, whose concept of the "fully functioning person" shapes how I understand what growth actually looks like. I also incorporate dialectical tools and somatic approaches where they're useful. I’m evidence-based with a touch of woo.

This isn't therapy — I don't diagnose, and I work within clear coaching ethics. But it isn't surface-level coaching either. If you've tried coaching before and found it too breezy for what you're actually dealing with, that context matters.

I have a Master's in Psychology, a PCC credential from the International Coaching Federation, and I'm someone who has personally lived the over-functioning, tightrope-walking version of this.

I don't talk about that to build rapport.

I talk about it because it's the reason I understand this particular experience with the specificity that I do.

I’m not going to waste your time by telling you to “just believe in yourself!”

I will help you identify the patterns that don’t work—with a serious dose of self-compassion and empathy, which is often the last and most vulnerable thing that you don’t know how to give yourself.

Here’s How We Begin

Every coaching relationship starts with a 90-minute intro session. The cost is $350, with no obligation to continue.

This isn't a consultation or a sales conversation. This is a real coaching session, on whatever topic you bring. You'll leave having actually worked on something.

If you decide to continue, ongoing coaching is $350 per month for two 60-minute sessions. I work with an initial three-month commitment, because real change doesn't happen in a single conversation, and I'm not interested in work that doesn't last.

I also offer ICF Mentor Coaching for coaches renewing their ACC or PCC credential with the ICF, a 10-session commitment billed in installments.

To get started, fill out the inquiry form below. I read every response before we meet. I also have some FAQs about coaching at the bottom of the page.

You've Been Holding It Together for a Long Time. You're Allowed to Put Some of That Down.

INQUIRE

Frequently Asked Questions About Life Coaching

  • Personalized one-on-one life coaching. Scroll back up to see how often we would work together and what it would cost. All of that information is on this page.

  • The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

    I have an adjacent though slightly different definition: “Coaching is a client-lead partnership between coach and client where the coach supports the client to make focused shifts in their lives, while normalizing feeling fear and uncertainty as part of the process, and supporting the client to live authentically and to be aligned with who they truly are.”

    Coaching is similar to therapy in terms of skills like use of active listening, asking client-centered questions, offering on-call exercises to help clients gain insight. However, coaching is used with clients who are basically functional in their lives and is out of scope for diagnosis or treatment of mental health disorders, active addiction, or trauma.

  • I believe that the skills are essentially the same, but therapists receive more training for and therefore are better equipped to support clients who need a mental health diagnosis or who are in active addiction or a trauma state. Therapy is better for those who are not functioning in their lives—eg, if you are struggling to go to work or bathe or sleep regularly, experiencing intrusive or ruminating thoughts, or if your ability to hold it together and not cry at the grocery store is impacted, then a therapist is a better fit.

    You deserve to get the best support possible. Sometimes people want to see a coach instead of a therapist because they feel stigma around therapy. As someone with 20 years of experience in this field, I want you to get the best support possible. If struggle to function that I’m describing here sounds like you, please DO find a therapist. The Psychology Today website can probably recommend one in your area.

  • Use the form on this page.

  • Within 3 business days I’ll reach out to see if it’s a fit to work together. If it is, I’ll offer you access to my calendar for a 1:1 session and a way to process payment for your session. Then I’ll also send you the more in-depth pre-session questions that I ask of every client. You’ll get those questions back to me at least a few days before our session. Then we’ll have our session at the scheduled time, and dive straight into the work.

  • There’s a fair amount of laughter, tears, and truth-telling. I’m empathetic while also aligning with integrity and accountability, but not in a “tough love” kind of way. I think if “love” has to be “tough” then it probably isn’t very “loving.”

    You can read what past clients have said, here.

    Important: I’m definitely not the coach for you if you want a coach who will nanny you into accountability.

  • I’m highly progressive and support anti-oppression initiatives, diversity, equity, inclusion, immigrants rights, trans rights, women’s rights, those who are differently abled and the LGBTQIA+ community.

    Some of my influences in anti-oppression work are “How to Talk about Race” by Oluo, “The Body is Not an Apology” by Taylor. Other coursework has included informal courses as well as graduate-level coursework in ethics.

    Having shared this, I’m not inclined to soapbox on any of this with clients—but I think it’s important that you know not just where I stand, but WHO I am a stand FOR.