don't dull your flame

Here’s the thing: don’t dull your flame.

I would love to tell you that if you just “be yourself,” others will come around. I would love to tell you that the choices will always be easy.

They’re not, and that’s okay. Easy is often less interesting.

But along the way, I encourage you not to dull your flame, not to downplay life so that someone else won’t be threatened, won’t have to confront their feelings about your success or joy or good fortune. I encourage you to burn bright, to live your life in a completely 100% fully alive kind of way, with the courage to trust that you could help shine some light for someone else.

Truly, just by being yourself, you may be someone else’s gift.

Maybe others need to see you in all of your brilliant, lit up and glowing glory, rocking out your life, and maybe it needs to trigger the shit out of them, and maybe they then need that shift from resenting you to the process of looking at why they devalue themselves, put their projects on hold, prioritize their lives differently.

That’s their shit. I’d call it something else, something more lady-like, but I’ve been there–yup, I have!–resenting the success of someone else, and it feels like shit so that’s what I’m going to call it.

Good things do not happen because we are simply lucky, though I acknowledge the magical component. And even though I acknowledge the forces of sexism, racism, and classism that are so pervasive in our world, I refuse to take the powerless position that they cannot ever be overcome. (The day we take that hopeless position, our society is really in trouble).

The good that comes your way is meant to be celebrated, not downplayed.

The good in your life offers up an example of what’s possible for others.

The good that you cultivate is well-deserved.

I won’t dull my flame.

Please–don’t dull yours.