Your courageous life won’t happen, by accident. It will happen, because you choose.
1:1 coaching and mentoring
Perhaps you’re looking around at your life, thinking that feeling fulfilled, turning ideas into action, and time management should be so simple–just focus on your priorities, right?
Yet somehow, it doesn’t work out that way.
Somehow, in the day-to-day grind of work and bills and to-do lists, I see so many incredibly smart women–women with big vision, a ton of heart n’ hustle, and deep desires–feel like there’s no room in their lives to actually create what they want.
I see that you try (like, really-really-really try). Every client I’ve ever worked with, has tried all the things–the books, workshops, and so much more. Lack of willingness to try, isn’t the issue.
The issue is that when you contemplate making changes so that you can feel happier and more fulfilled, you often feel one of two things: either you’re wild with creative energy but stuck in all the reasons why it can’t happen (no money, no time, no support with the kids or the housework, a loud inner critic, a demanding family, a marriage that feels stuck…), or you realize that you’re just too damned tired to add One More Thing–even if it is your own deepest desires for happiness–onto your plate.
But here’s the thing: every day that you don’t choose differently, you reinforce the old patterns.
Fear-based patterns of people-pleasing, perfectionism, pessimism and self-sabotage underlie why we don’t feel good about our lives. These are the patterns that hold you back from your true potential.
These fear-based patterns drive feelings of “not good enough,” of comparisons, internal judgments and criticisms, feeling disconnected as parents or within our marriages. We stop trusting ourselves. We get stuck.
Over time, those patterns become habits. Soon, the habits are running on auto-pilot and it goes to the next level–becoming our “identity.” We start calling ourselves ‘perfectionists’ or ‘people-pleasers,’ forgetting that we weren’t born this way.
We weren’t born this way; we learned this way.
The good news?
When you decide–truly decide–that you’re not going to spend another year of your life spinning your wheels, that’s when everything can change. You can re-wire these fear-based habits, and create your entire life from a place of courage.
This isn't overly-optimistic self-help cheerleading.
This is the psychology of courage (it’s an actual thing) and the neuropsychology of habit-formation (also an actual thing) mixed in with pragmatic tools backed by behavioral science research. This is the work of stepping into your life from a place of courage and leadership.
Through 1:1 coaching, you’ll learn the skill-set of courageous living, and start to…
Unhook from the critic
You’ll learn how to stop the exhausting (and fruitless) fight against the critic, and start managing it, differently. When you stop letting your internal critic control you, you also unhook from people-pleasing and perfectionism.
What would your life look like, if you were your own best advocate?
Take charge of time
Not enough time, not enough space, too busy, too overwhelmed…it’s probably left you exhausted, stressed, and showing physical symptoms such as headaches, laying awake at night thinking about your to-do list, or back-to-back colds. What would your life look like, if you were the one fully in charge of your time?
Connect to courage
Speaking up for yourself, feeling more confident, knowing that even if life throws you a curveball everything is figure-outable…that’s connecting to courage. To connect with courage is to truly connect to yourself. What would your life look like, if courage was not just a concept, but your way of being?
Get clear on your deepest desires and values, especially those that lurk under the surface and feel tricky to articulate. Perhaps right now you feel like you know you’re meant for more…but you’re just not sure what that is (or you’ve thought you were sure, before, but then the new direction felt all wrong). What would your life look like, if you had decided on your purpose and aligned your life with that purpose?
Connect to others
You know that you want something more than surface-level conversations. You’ve read Brene Brown. You know that vulnerability and connection are cornerstones of a good life. You also know that you’ve got to start speaking your truth in your relationships and practicing the tools of connection, to get there. What would your life look like, if you felt you could truly be yourself, with others?
Live 100% fully alive
Fun. Joy. Spontaneous adventures. A life soaked with art, music, great food, and color. When we over-work, find ourselves saying “yes” to everyone else and “no” to ourselves, constantly struggle around money or conflict in relationships, our lives become drained of pleasure. To-do lists run our lives. What would your life look like if you were absolutely uncompromising about living 100% fully alive?
How will life be different? There are so many ways:
“When I first begun working with Kate I felt “stuck”, tired, and at least a bit angry. With humor, kindness, great “tools”, and lots of hard-won wisdom, Kate has guided and supported me in making changes in attitude and behavior that have lead me to a new enthusiasm for life, a renewed sense of direction, and greater self-respect. I feel enormously indebted to Kate. She has taught me things I wish my mother had (and that I can now pass on to my children). Not the least is how critical self-care is to a balanced life. I had heard this everywhere, forever – but Kate helped me to make it real in so many creative, do-able ways. In doing so, I not only feel better about life and about myself, I have also become a much better spouse, mother, and friend. Honestly, I feel I could have made my way through life to date with less emotional trauma and greater confidence had a learned the lessons Kate has taught me at an earlier age!”
“I feel like a completely different person from my first session with you in the Spring. Thank you so much for helping me find my inner courage. You helped me find what I was struggling to find in myself. When I look back at this time in my life I will always think of you! “
“The coaching sessions with Kate were so, so helpful. They softened my approach and left me considering things from a far more positive and proactive direction than the more cynical place I started out at. “
I’m Kate Swoboda. I’m a life coach, speaker, and writer.
Professionally: I’ve been coaching clients since 2006 (totaling more than 1,000 hours of coaching) and have a PCC credential from the International Coaching Federation. I’m also the author of The Courage Habit (named a “top book on habits” by Book Riot). As Director of the Courageous Living Coach Certification, I’ve trained coaches in the skill-set of coaching. I’ve lead retreats around the world (Italy, yes!), spoken at conferences, and my work has been featured in USA Today, The Intelligent Optimist, UC Berkeley’s Greater Good, and the BBC. I have a BA in Sociology, and because I’m lifelong nerd on all things behavioral, I’m also finishing up a Masters in Psychology (that’ll be done in late 2020).
Personally: I’ve walked through the tender terrain that my clients have walked through. I’ve been that person who’s hustling hard for all the wrong things, unaware of where I was making choices out of fear, struggling to balance between big vision dreams and the realities of day-to-day life and demands on my time. These things get complicated when we’re unconsciously stuck in fear-based patterns that have become habits, running on auto-pilot. I revisit the work in my life as a mother, in my 15+ year relationship with my beloved, and as CEO of my business, managing a team of 10+ people.
Coaching style: I see every coaching client as someone I’m coming into partnership with. We’re working together towards the common goal of you stepping into your Most Courageous Self, however that looks for you. My coaching style is a mix of creating empathic room to feel what needs to be felt, with getting real about the actions you’ll need to take to see real change. I don’t do “tough love” (if it’s got to be tough, it’s not love) or emphasize rigid accountability structures–you’re an adult and don’t need to be yelled at into getting your life together–but I do absolutely want more for you than rah-rah cheerleading. We merge soul with action, roots with taking off, and we explore the nuances of life and being human.
The most empowered leaders, whether leading in their lives or at work, know that leadership isn’t about a role; it’s about how you live. We’re stepping into something deeper and richer, and we’re doing it, together.
What do my clients truly want?
To feel free. To make a difference. To have more fun. To be a connected parent. To resolve past hurts. To change the world. To let the truth of who they are on the inside, be how they actually live, on the outside.
Working together: all the details:
1. Pre-Session Work
We start with pre-session questions–but these aren’t just any pre-session questions. Think of these questions as soulful questions that invite you into something beyond just doing-hustling-more-doing, and into exploring a new way of being and understanding for who you truly are. My clients have shared that the pre-session questions I give them are valuable in and of themselves. The gears start turning and the challenges become clearer–as well as the desires.
2. We meet for a one-time session
I do a deep review of your pre-session questions in advance of when we meet. Our one-time session is a 90 minute, full-on coaching session so that you can see what it’s like to work together. There’s no commitment beyond this initial discovery session.
3. We meet for regular sessions
After our in-person deep dive, we’ll meet for two one-on-one 60-minute coaching sessions over the phone. These sessions will be oriented around your primary focus and we’ll proactively address every.last.stuck.space. Over the course of three months, you’ll emerge seeing how you can take charge of your time, do more of what lights you up in life, and look in the mirror knowing that you feel good about who you are and the life you live.
Coaching materials such as access to my Courageous Living Program, a signed copy of The Courage Habit, worksheets, and a book bundle and swag bag are all included in our work together (you’ll receive them in-person at our deep dive). Periodically, I may recommend additional books depending on what arises in our sessions, and those books are included, as well. Custom practices tailored to what you as a client are offered for furthering the work between each coaching sessions.
How can we work together?
Everything starts with filling out the application, which is linked on this page (look for the hot pink button).
What happens after I fill out the application?
I review every application to make sure it’s a good fit for us to work together. If it is, I’ll send you pre-session questions. We’ll arrange a time to have a one-time 90-minute coaching call where you’ll receive coaching (this isn’t a Q&A or consulting call; we’re diving right in with coaching together). Cost: $450 for the pre-session review + coaching call. There is no commitment to continue coaching if you don’t feel it’s a fit.
What's included, if we work together?
After the 90-minute discovery session, if you’d like to continue to work together, you’d let me know. From there, we’d set up two 60-minute one-on-one coaching sessions per month. I’d start getting you your materials (such as the Courageous Living Program, a copy of my book, The Courage Habit), and we’d begin having regular sessions with customized practices to further the work.
Less tangible, but also included? Intensive personal transformation–taking charge of your time, better boundaries, releasing perfectionism, more connection, and flat-out amazing yourself when you see what you’re really capable of.
Also? Surprises. I love them. You never know when they’ll show up at your door.
I charge $550 per month, with a 3-month commitment, for everything that is included above.
What are your credentials?
I’ve been a life coach since 2006–so, for more than a decade. I’m PCC certified with the International Coaching Federation and as Director of the Courageous Living Coach Certification, I’ve trained brand-new coaches from the ground, up, to create successful coaching businesses helping clients from around the world. I also have a BA in Sociology with a minor in Women’s Studies, and a Masters degree in Psychology. I have logged more than 1,000 hours coaching. I’ve studied the psychology of courage, neuropsychology of habit-formation, and behavioral science.
I believe in a biopsychosocial model for behavioral change. I believe that intersectionality and recognition of oppression is important. I believe we need to question our conditioning and re-wire old fear-based patterns and habits. And, I believe in taking responsibility for our lives. Those aren’t “credentials” exactly, but they are the badges of learning life has given me.
I want to be ICF Certified. Can you Mentor coach me?
Yes. I have my PCC with the International Coaching Federation and I am allowed to act as a Mentor Coach for those seeking the ACC or PCC for their own ICF Certification. Your hours coaching with me can count towards ICF Certification (they require 10 hours over the course of three months). Let me know when we begin working together that you are wanting to secure your ICF certification.
I specifically offer personal coaching to all clients; our work together will be focused on how you move your life forward personally, and would not include coaching assessments or feedback on your coaching to prepare for ICF certification.
I'm in therapy. How can coaching help?
This is a great conversation to have with your therapist, who can help you assess whether or not coaching will be helpful. As a coach, I’m not trained in diagnosis and ethically, I want you to have the best possible support around this question–your therapist is a better resource, for that.
For some people coaching can be a great adjunct to complement therapeutic work. Most of my clients have also been in therapy.
With that said, I cannot work with clients who have an active diagnosis–if you are struggling with clinical depression, an eating disorder, bipolar spectrum, etc., I want you to have the best possible support for those experiences and that’s with a therapist.
I'm not sure if I should start coaching, or not. Can you help me decide?
I would suggest starting with my book, The Courage Habit (available via Amazon), if you’re feeling stuck around whether or not coaching feels right. The exercises in The Courage Habit can help you distill whether it’s fear talking, or it’s just not the right fit to start coaching. (Also, let’s drop the “shoulds,” right? If you start coaching because you feel it’s right for you? Great. If not? Great. You are enough, either way.).
What if I just read your book or take one of your programs?
Can I just do an in-person day, instead of 1:1 sessions?
Absolutely. A one-on-one in-person day is $3,000 and includes your flight, meals, and hotel.
In-person work is suspended while COVID-19 is still an active concern.
How much time will it take?
Coaching is very active–we’re not just talking about your life. We’re looking at what you need to do, differently, and you’re going to start implementing different behavioral interventions, immediately. Per week, anticipate approximately 60 minutes for our sessions, and approximately 1-2 hours for practices in-between sessions. Those are the more structured time commitments. However, you can anticipate that the deeper you go into doing the work, the more you’ll be thinking about the work itself–you’ll be asking yourself, “Who am I, really? And what do I really want?” Practices are tailored to each client, and include things like questions to journal about, making specific choices and taking the first step, identifying habits you want to cultivate and putting in 15 or more minutes a day towards that habit.
a courageous life happens, because you make a choice. Here’s where we begin.
I work with clients in 3-month cycles each year, from February-March-April or from September-October-November. Applications are accepted in January and August of each year. Click the button below, to let me know a bit more about you and your interest in coaching.