The most powerful question to ask yourself

This is the most powerful question to ask yourself, when you’re

– stuck
– overwhelmed
– feeling out of options
– know you want something to change but can’t quite articulate the words

and when the hits start coming and then keep on coming.

I have asked myself this question when I have been

– on the receiving end of a scary diagnosis
– nauseated at the sight of how much debt I was in
– walking through the aftermath of big failures and harsh rejections
– been so caught in my fear that I couldn’t sleep for days on end.

So here it is. This is the most powerful question to ask yourself:

If I could have it any way that I want it, how would I want it?

If you sit down with a pen and paper and decide to ask yourself this question, you’ve got to commit to writing down whatever comes to you, without hesitation and without trying to see if it would ever be “realistic” (being “realistic” is a real dream-killer).

In the midst of everything falling apart, it might not seem like the right time to ask such an audacious question. Fear-based pessimism will be right there to say, “What’s the point?”

Yet it’s an act of courage for you to boldly ask, “If I could have it any way that I want it, how would I want it?” and capture the answers.

I think that it hones our tenacity and resilience to decide that even when life deals you rough seas and a storm—and then does it again—and then does it again—that we will decide to hold on to our most hoped-for outcomes as a kind of anchor in the storm.

Think of anything in your life that you’re struggling with, at the moment, where the answers feel wily and evasive and you wish you could just feel grounded, again.

If you could have this situation any way that you want it, how would you want it?

This will carry you through to the port amid the storm.

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How to stop compromising yourself

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2018: what I learned this year