Seriously–Fuck “being realistic.”

Pragmatic? Yes. Implementable? Yes.

But “realistic”? No.

I’ve never gotten anywhere in my life by “being realistic.”

Guess what? If you’re trying to “be realistic,” you’re not getting anywhere, either.

I’m not talking about surrendering to the truth of current reality, or acceptance as freedom. I’m talking about the times when “be realistic” is really a euphemism for “don’t think you’ll get much” or “lower your hopes and dreams so that you won’t feel the sting of disappointment.”


They told me to…

People have told me to “be realistic” about:

  • growing my business
  • healing my body
  • making money
  • available job opportunities
  • healing relationships
  • living where I want to live
  • affording something I wanted to afford

For example: I was told to “be realistic” about a health issue that, it turned out–and I knew this in every cell of my being, all along–there was a way to fix (the doctors were WRONG).

I was told to “be realistic” about starting a business and seeing it make money. I was told to “be realistic” about healing relationships–that “people don’t change” and I “shouldn’t expect much.” I was told to “be realistic” about being able to afford wild travel adventures or the house I live in, today.

Take a moment to think about all the places in your own life where you’ve been told to “be realistic,” to reign it in, to not hope for too much.

Chances are, this “be realistic” shit has poisoned several areas of your life–career, money, intimacy, partnerships, connection, creativity, passions…

Then consider where else in our world we tell ourselves to “be realistic,” and how that negatively impacts our quality of living, as a collective whole.

We tell ourselves to stop even hoping that poverty or violence could be a minor societal problem, or even eradicated, and then those problems simply swell. We tell ourselves to stay in jobs that we hate because we don’t think there’s another way to live, resulting in a culture where most people hate what they do eight hours a day. We tell ourselves that people don’t change and so it’s better to avoid those family members who push our buttons than it is to enter into collaboration (the latter is certainly more valuable). Families are torn apart by this nonsense.

Look–lots of people have told me lots of things over the years about “being realistic,” and what it always has amounted to was that their own world view was limited.

Every single time I decided that I’d take in their feedback–while pursuing my own highest vision for what I wanted–it has worked out for me.

Every. Single. Time.


Down to Brass Tacks

What’s realistic is only ever this: what you clarify wanting for yourself, and what you dare to go after.

(Click here to tweet that: )

That’s it.

That’s the kind of “realistic” that I choose–the reality of looking around, asking what’s possible, then asking what else is possible, and putting positive action in that direction.

Along the way, there’s sweat and work and disappointment and tears, but all of that is a pretty worthy price to pay for “being realistic.”


What makes your list?

So here are a few things that I currently practice not “being realistic” around:

  • Finding a cure for the auto-immune disease I was diagnosed with;
  • Making six figures with a beautiful business;
  • Completing an Ironman triathlon;
  • Having sacred orgasms;
  • Widespread social change that results in eradication of hunger and poverty;
  • Publishing a book;
  • Owning my own home on some land in wine country;
  • Changing your life.

Practical action + “unrealistic” life dreams is a wicked powerful combination.

So–If you weren’t “being realistic,” what would go on your life list?



Practice courage, and you get unstoppable. This is the complete program in courage that helps you clarify what you want, and then supports you in getting it–no matter the fear, procrastination, resistance that arises.